18 Years Too Late

Ch.9

***Gemma's POV****

The car journey was long. I sat listening to my iPod and looking out the window. It was raining...again. It always rains when something sad happens. The rain is sad. I use to love the rain. I would always jump in puddles and splash around. But then that day came. The day no-one ever talked about. It was bad to just think about it. That day it rained as well. It was always the rain.

I spent the whole journey being conscious of my mum. I had to pull my jumper down over my wrists constantly to stop her from noticing the marks I had made. I don't know what I would do if she knew. She would cry and then I would cry. I could never be the reason for her tears. I never want to be put in that position.

"Honey?" Mum looked over to me. I was half asleep.

"Mmm?" I replied.

"We're here. Come on. We're staying with Auntie Beccy and Blaine's this weekend. Lets get in." She unhooked her seat belt and clambered out the car, I followed. We went to the boot of the car and grabbed our two bags. We didn't take too much as it was only a couple of days away.

We walked up to the doorway, ringing the bell. It was a lovely house. It had big open windows and lovely and well decorated rooms which were always so inviting, except today they weren't. This house and this family were the last think I wanted to see today.

Beccy came to the door. Her face was tear stained and she had bags under her eyes. She didn't say a word, just let us saunter in. It was heartbreaking. Beccy was always so happy and bouncy. And now it felt like she was gone too.

Inside the house candles had been lit. They lined the corridor. There were pictures evenly spaced. They all had Ebony in them. She was so beautiful and so perfect. I don't understand.

"Us oldies are going to have a chat dear. Why don't you go up and see Blaine. He's in his bedroom." Beccy tried to smile. It was worse than when she didn't smile. She was trying to be strong but I knew she wanted to cry. I had that same face each day I came home from school.

"Thank you Auntie Beccy." I gave her a weak smile and a hug and headed up the stairs.

I was used to this house. We had spent many summers here. They were always so fantastic. We would spend time at the beach and mess around and we would be a proper family. It was only me, my mum, Auntie Beccy and Blaine in my family now. How could our family have broken down so fast? It didn't make sense. I reached the top of the stairs. To my right was Auntie Beccy's room. She has an en-suite. To my left was Blaine's room and his bathroom. But I didn't care for those rooms. The door at the very top of the stairs, the first door you come to, is Eb's room. It was as if I was in a trance. My feet were moving on their own accord, leading me to the door. I didn't want to go in. I wanted to be at home. With Jane and Oscar and Jake. I wanted the old days back. I needed the old days back.

I reached out for the door handle, twisting it. The door creaked open. I tip-toed in. I couldn't help feel like I was intruding. This was Ebony's space. Not mine. I shouldn't be in here. Once I was fully in I could feel it. It was just what I was looking for. It felt like Ebony was still here. And she was still in her room. I could sense her. I wandered around, lightly touching all her ornaments. She had pictures. Lots of pictures. Lots of old family pictures. Some with her friends. I recognised them all from her birthday party. It must have been her eighth. It was a princess party (every eight year old dream) It was me, then Ebony and then her friends, Anna, Kayley, Macey and Santana. Why hadn't her friends been there for her? I remember how sweet they all were. We all played dolly and princess castle together. Those were the days.

"Do you feel it too?" A voice startled me from behind.

"God Blaine! You scared me!" I gasped.

"Do you?" He repeated.