Healing is hard. it takes a lot of patience if you ask me. Sometimes I don't know how to feel, I can't help myself. I try to stay in the present and be grateful for what I have; but I can't help but wish to be free from all that serves me no purpose. I've tried my hardest to keep my distance but even that does no damage control. feeling as if i have to fight for the freedom which is supposed to be mine is the most exhausting thing to experience, so now you ask why should i even put up a fight? I've been a warrior my whole life. It's hard to ask someone who has had to fight battles on their own to not take a stand. Not speaking up all these years has taught me that my worth is all I've ever had. standing up means protecting the happiness that i've only just started to feel. I want to breathe, I want to trust, I want to love. but the more I grow everyday I see why I've had all these experiences. It's the human experience of living and feeling the pain of life. Living and feeling the pain in your life is about learning and understanding your emotions and why you react the way you do to certain things, what am I feeling? Why did this affect me? Those are the questions you should be asking as you feel and walk through your experiences of pain. Everything happens for a reason. good and bad things. but this doesn't mean you let that fear and trauma control you. you fight back, try to process all the pain you've felt and learn from those bumps in the road. as you learn how to understand your emotions you can start to feel more at peace with yourself and truly be able to love yourself fully.
