her point of view ; sam kerr

chap eighteen

sams point of view
four months later

It's cold, my jumpers zipped to my neck, high socks over my sweatpants.
The rain falling doesn't help - it may as well be snow.
The takeaway coffee in my hand, is the only thing bringing me comfort right now.

Lauren walks in front of me with Jessie, Millie beside me.
They're all mid conversation about the referee at our last game, how she stopped Millie from scoring the last goal.

We won, so it wouldn't have made much of a difference anyway.

Beginning to cross the road, I catch a glimpse of brown, Curly hair in the corner of my eye.
Stopping in my track, I turn to face her.

She glances my way, an unfamiliar face bringing nothing but disappointment.

" Sam!" Millie grabs my arm, yanking me off the road, just before a large truck passes.

The rest of the girls laugh, a concerned look on her face.

" Are you good? You almost just got wiped out" She says.

Shaking my head, I just laugh along with Jessie and Lauren, making a fool out of myself.

Everything happening back home, a few months ago blew over, like I knew it would.
The fake news was canceled quickly and my followers grew back up to their initial numbers.

The comp finished for the Tillies for now,
Im now back in London for Chelsea.

I miss my family and the small things about home, I obviously miss the team and all the girls.

But I don't miss Mackenzie's constant check ups of 'are you okay?' or 'how you doing?' with the same tone every single time.

I don't miss that everyone started to walk on eggshells around me, like I'd break at any minute.
And I definitely don't miss feeling her absence in everything, everywhere.

Anyway, we're on our way back from training.
It was a rough session today, they made us train outside, even in the cold.

Once we're at my apartment they all stop outside, pulling me in for a side hug.

" See you at the game tomorrow!" Jessie grins.

" Bye guys, see you tomorrow".

Shutting the door behind me, there's gentle music coming from the living room.

Walking up the stairs, Taylor stands in the kitchen, cooking some sort of Italian looking dish.

" Hey babe" She grins.

" Hey".

Placing my things down on the bench, I walk over to greet her, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

" How was training?".

" It was okay. I really need a shower though,
I'll be back".

She kisses me once more before I'm walking off to the bathroom.

I met Taylor a month ago, just a month after moving back here.
She was at a hens night the same night after a we'd won a season final, I don't particularly remember that night but I guess we've just gone from there.

She's here most nights, keeping me company.
I enjoy it.
Keeps my mind off her.

Once i'm out of the shower, I dry my hair.
Pulling on my oversized t-shirt and some boxers.

Walking back out into the kitchen, she's got the plates on the coffee table, in front of the tv.

" Smells good" I smile.

She grins, sitting down on the sofa.
I sit in front of my bowl, staring down at the pasta.
My phone vibrates beside me, before I can pick up my fork, staring down at the notification from Mack.

Macka- hey sammy, a few of the girls from my team and Alanna are going out in the city tomorrow night, you coming?

Thankfully, they're not too far away if I ever feel too homesick.
Alanna plays for Manchester City, Mackenzie plays for West Ham United, so it's nice to have them close by.

Some of the other girls are also over here playing for the season, we'll meet up every now and then.

" Who's that?" Taylor cuts me out of my thoughts.

" Just Mackenzie, wants me to come out tomorrow night".

She nods, " We should go, could be fun!".

I just shrug, poking at the food in my bowl.

" We can go if you want".

She grins, finishing her plate, setting it down on the coffee table.

" Cool, I'll just come over after your game then?".

I nod, taking a few bites of the pasta before placing the plate back down, crossing my arms over my chest.

Reaching out, I grab my phone, replying to her message.

- Taylor and I will be there, text me what bar to meet you guys at.

Placing the phone back down, Taylor rests her head on my shoulder.
And there it is again, that funny feeling.

It's almost guilt, partly shame.
Taylor's right there, but my head is else where.
Subconsciously replaying moments over and over again, where if I had of known there would be a 'last time', maybe I would've acted differently.

Been more bold, taken more chances.
I guess we'll never know.