I'll Love You Even When The Mortals Have Forgotten Us

Chapter 5

Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum.

His heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest. It was fighting against his rib cage and begging to be set free. Begging to confess to Daichi, to answer all his questions and even to kiss him. Well, that was only one half of his heart. The other half was afraid. Afraid of being abandoned and alone. Afraid of making Daichi uncomfortable or ruining their friendship. That half wanted to ask Daichi to leave, curl up into a ball and live the rest of his life in self-isolation.

There was a long pause as Daichi waiting for him to answer. He saw the hesitance on Sugawara's face. How his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes widened, his lip scowled and tremble. Sugawara started to fidget with his hands and looked away. Shit, it was butchering this.

It was unmistakable, Daichi had a more than friendly attraction to Sugawara. He wanted to be close to him at all times. To eat every meal together and spend time together in silence. Sugawa
Ba-bu
Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum.

His heart felt like it was going to leap out of his chest. It was fighting against his rib cage and begging to be set free. Begging to confess to Daichi, to answer all his questions and even to kiss him. Well, that was only one half of his heart. The other half was afraid. Afraid of being abandoned and alone. Afraid of making Daichi uncomfortable or ruining their friendship. That half wanted to ask Daichi to leave, curl up into a ball and live the rest of his life in self-isolation.

There was a long pause as Daichi waiting for him to answer. He saw the hesitance on Sugawara's face. How his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes widened, his lip scowled and tremble. Sugawara started to fidget with his hands and looked away. Shit, it was butchering this.

It was unmistakable, Daichi had a more than friendly attraction to Sugawara. He wanted to be close to him at all times. To eat every meal together and spend time together in silence. Sugawara was (mostly) a chill guy and very nonjudgmental. He put Daichi at ease. He loved that, and he was sure he... really liked Sugawara.

But before he jumped to any conclusions about his own feelings, he wanted to know Sugawara's first. If it was worth the risk to uproot his entire sexuality and beliefs for his possibly straight friend, but he doubts it. Sugawara is not completely straight, he couldn't be. He radiated gay energy. Of course, how would Daichi know? He only got LGBT experience from movies and his own research.

"What?" Sugawara laughed nervously, clearly fake.

Daichi study is expression for a while before he came to the realization. Sugawara was gay. The way he looked away and his remarkable experience at "wingman-ship" even though he has never been in a relationship as far as Daichi knew. But still, he wanted to hear Sugawara say it.

"Oh God." He mumbled into his hands as he looked back up at his gray-haired friend to compose himself. "Are you gay? Like a homosexual."

Sugawara felt averted his gaze but Daichi kept chasing his gaze. "I only ask because your brother asked if we were allowed to be here with the door closed and the only reason I think someone would ask teenagers that is because of, y'know, sex, so. I read something that said most LGBT kids confide in siblings and friends before they come out. Not saying that you're coming out but- I guess he either knows you're gay or he thinks I'm gay, which wouldn't make sense if he knows you're straight so-
A-And your mom, she's never ask us that before so simply-"

A light laugh cut him off as Sugawara leaned against the door and dragged himself downward before resting on the floor and curled up into a tight ball. "Yeah." He exhaled shakily. "Yeah, I'm gay."

"I'm gay, and I'm in love with you, Daichi. I've loved you ever since the summer after our first year, and It's been slowly growing stronger. So fucking strong. And I'm not asking for a response; I know I'm a mess, but I want you to know, even though you're dating Michimiya because it has been eating me up inside, and I don't want to feel like that any longer. I want to feel free. Free in my dangerous love for you."

Daichi was quiet for a moment before he inched off the bed and sat directly in front of his friend. He pried Sugawara's arms from his face and held it with his own warm ones. "I know." He said into Sugawara's eyes. "I know and.... I love you, too, Suga. I love your hair and your face and how your bubbly side is balanced with your aggressive and obnoxious side." Suga scoffed a smiled creeping onto his face. "I really do love you."

Sugawara stared into the eyes of Daichi and felt himself unraveling and falling apart. He wrapped his hands gently around Sugawara's neck and brushed his cheek lightly. Next thing he knew, Daichi was leaning towards. Their lips were less than six centimeters apart. Their noses slightly brushed against each other as Daichi smirked and leaned his head to the side to-

Sike. That never happened. Sugawara was just being delusional once again. Instead, he zoned out. The only real part was Daichi creeping off the bed to pull Sugawara into his embrace. He gripped the back of Daichi's shirt during their hug. It was so warm and loving. Daichi was so warm and loving that Sugawara began to sob into his shoulder as Daichi rubbed his back.

"It's alright, Suga. It's okay," Daichi mumbled, brushing away his tears. "I'm happy you told me."

"I'm upset you had to pry it out of me," Sugawara said tiredly, catching his breath and wiping his tears.

"Don't be," reassured Daichi. "I don't want you to feel as if you have anything to hide from me."

Sugawara gave him one of his showstopping, time-freezing, dead drop gorgeous smile and made Daichi swoon. His furrowed eyebrows, his glossy red eyes and his moistened lips were giving Daichi the most embarrassing — inappropriate- thoughts. Sugawara was always a pretty after-crier. He then noticed the bare distance between the two of them and leaned back a bit to pat Sugawara awkwardly on the shoulder. "You're my best friend."

Sugawara laughed at Daichi's antics and smiled softly. "And you're mine," He breathed.

So here lies Daichi. Death? In his best friend's bedroom. Cause of death? Simp. (And "spicy" kimchi)


~


Asahi had a peaceful morning for the most part. He hummed to himself as he placed books back in his locker, getting ready to go to lunch. When he closed the locker door, he saw Sugawara on the other side of it, smiling at him.

"Hey," He said, leaning against the locker with a smirk he said while Asahi jumped.

"Why do you bully me?" He asked tiredly, walking away but Sugawara followed behind him.

"Because it's fun," He said as if it was a logical explanation. There was a pause as they went to go to the cafeteria. Asahi knew what his friend was about to say; it was the only thing they ever talked about due to Sugawara's unhealthy obsession. "I didn't tell him," He mumbled.

"And why not?"

"Because I was too overwhelmed after coming out to him."

Asahi stopped. He spun around on his heel and looked down on Sugawara, who looked away in shame. "I had an opportunity there to just say it. To say that he is all that's on my mind for the past year and I missed it. I was just worried that'll push him away because my coming out didn't. I didn't want to put too much on him. It's a lot to deal with the fact that I'm gay but the fact that I'm in love with him?"

Grabbing his hand, Asahi paused his ramble and smiled. "Suga, that's amazing! I mean, you came out!"

"Not intentionally," Sugawara mumbled, but he couldn't hide the small embarrassed smile creeping onto his face. "You remember when I told my brother I was gay and had a crush on Daichi? Well, he kinda hinted to that and Daichi figured it out."

"Told ya Daichi was smart," Asahi winked. "But I really am happy for you. Maybe I'm telling you to do this wrong. I mean, this... is going slower than I thought. I don't really know everything so-"

"Gee, thanks." Sugawara rolled his eyes. "What happened with the person you liked?"

"They confessed to me." Asahi said bashfully. "I just aggreed, so I really don't know how hard it was for them, though. Maybe you should ask someone who does"

"Asahi!" Sugawara screamed. "I've been taking advice from you when you're in the same boat as me?"

Asahi crouched down low into a ball. "Please don't hit me!"

Massaging his temples, Sugawara inhaled sharply. "I won't. God." He clapped his hands together once. "I'm just going to tell him. Tomorrow, I'll confess my undying, heart-clenching love for him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, speak of the devil." Asahi said, standing up properly.

They both turned to see Daichi approaching to walking past them with Michimiya. They were talking and laughing about something. Daichi turned to Sugawara and gave him a small smile and nod. "Hey."

"Hi," Sugawara said quietly, smiling as Daichi walked away. "Gosh." He swooned.

"Okay," Asahi rolled his eyes and pushed Sugawara towards the cafeteria as he was too limp to walk on his own.

"Did you see his hair? Oh, he's so cute," Sugawara laughed drunkenly.

"And we're back to square one," Asahi sighed.

~
(last night after Daichi went home)

So.... Sugawara's gay. What does this mean for me?

Daichi thought long and hard about this. He had only realized his feelings for Sugawara earlier that, but they were tremendously strong. His ear would peak up when someone said anything remotely close to his name. He rubbed his eyes harshly, letting out a groan as a certain someone creeped into his brain. God, Buddha, Allah, whomever is up there, please! Tell him why he couldn't get Sugawara's smile out of his head. His pearly white teeth, his pink lips and his long eyelashes.....

Daichi, no! You're in a relationship. Michimiya treats you well, treat her the same. Don't cheat with her in your mind with your best friend. It's not even cheating because you're not in love with him. It's just a friendly attraction. Everyone thinks about their friends, right?

A blue shine emerged from his phone, indicating that he got a notification. It was a text from Sugawara. Excellent timing, really.

The blue light acted like a nightlight in Daichi's dark bedroom. He reached over and tilted the phone on its side, so he could read the message.

Sidekick: Hey thanks for being so accepting today
You're the best
...
...
Goodnight

Daichi caught himself smiling at the message as the realization kicked in. He had a crush on Sugawara.

Meanwhile, in the Sugawara household, the gray-haired boy was staring at the message he was about to send.

To Captain:

'I love you, Daichi.'

No, he could. He wasn't ready. Sorry, Asahi but he needed more time.

'I love you, D|'

'I love y|'

'I lo|'

'...'

'Goodnight' (read.)

~ (Bonus)

Captain: Good night, Suga <3(1845 words)