Unbecoming

Oh My Missing Piece, Where Did You Go

Phoebe's pov

My head was a mess.

"Jules, please for the love of god just find her. She could be anywhere in any state right now, what if she's hurt? What is she's passed out in a ditch somewhere all mangled and- and-."

"Phoebe!" The soft but sudden tone of Juliens voice stopped me mid spiral, too many thoughts of the worst kept coming to mind and I hated every second of it. "We'll find her, she's lived here who knows how long she's probably perfectly fine sitting at a coffee shop or a park or something."

"At almost half 8 in the evening?!" I knew she was being rational, Raene was definitely the type to take a random walk in the evening before it got too late. Mostly to keep herself moving after just recently getting the all clear from a doctor that her stab wound was pretty much healed.

"Buddy, you're thinking too hard, listen. Me and Lucy will have a wander round the street to see if we can find her. We'll call you if we do, okay?" Julien placed a comforting hand at the small of my back and lead me to the kitchen, grabbing me a glass of water and patting my shoulder before leaving to presumably get Lucy.

I paced my apartment for what felt like hours, thinking of every possible thing that could have happened to Raene, calling her phone again and again and again with no answer. I was unravelling in to an unrecognisable mess, that was until the almost silent creak of the door broke my panic and Raene, looking as small as she could possibly get herself, tiptoed in to the apartment.

I let out a relieved sigh and rushed to her, "Raene? Holy shit Raene where the fuck have you been, we've been worried sick!" But the only reaction I got was a frightened look as she flinched back, her body trembling where it stood now hid behind the door.

I tried again calling her name to see if she'd heard me and actually recognised it was me talking to her.

"H-how do you know my name?!" Came a yelled reply.

It was then that I noticed the look of complete confusion on her face, her eyes wide and blown out and her jaw trembling wildly. She was on something.

I stepped towards her carefully, reaching to place a hand on her back to lead her further in to the apartment. Whatever was bound to happen couldnt happen with her half way out the door and able to run.
I'm presuming she attempted to jump out of my reach but only crashed in to me further and fell to the ground

"Raene?!"

No answer.

She just lay there on the floor in hysterics.

"HELP!" Her voice broke as she screamed out, "PLEASE, PLEASE H-HELP ME!" She muttered pleads over and over again, scrambling back in to the hallway and back against a wall. It was a horrible sight and I didn't know what to do to help, touching her seemed to only make it worse and I still didn't really know what she'd taken to be like this.

Before I could pull my self together another strangled sob wracked through her body, I watched in shock as she started pulling and tearing at her skin. Almost as if she was fighting an infestation only she could see.
Tears sprung to my eyes as I watched the person I'd come to care so deeply about abuse her own body, I had to do something.

"Hey, hey baby it's okay. You're with me, you're with Phoebe, you're gonna be okay." I fell to the floor next to her and wrapped her in my arms, pinning hers to her sudes so she wouldn't continue scratching at her skin.

And as I thought, it did not help one bit. Actually it did the complete opposite.

Her body began to thrash in an attempt to get me off of her. Cries for help came out in shrill shreaks and I was rendered completely useless.
I kept a tight grip on her though, unrelenting in trying to keep her grounded.

"RAENE, Raene listen to me. I need you to listen- JULIEN, LUCY HELP!" I tried in a calmer voice, knowing I would not be able to do this on my own. Nkthing seemed to work, her limbs still flew this way and that. Landing a few blows to my own body but I honestly couldn'tcare less about myself right now.

"Raene," I tried again, holding her tighter, "Raene, please, it's Phoebe. It's Phoebe I'm here sweet girl, I need you to calm down. You're okay, It's okay."

"Phoebe?"

Her voice came out weak and desperate. It hurt to see her like this, the amount of care I held for her made me feel her pain 10x more. I'd not known her long but damnit did it hurt.

"Yeah baby, yeah it's me. Hi, you're okay." I reassured her, soothing a hand through her hair and tucking loose strands behind her ear to which she visibly relaxed in to and the flailing stopped completely.

"There's someone in the apartment, please Phoebe, th-there's someone in there and I heard them and they knew my- my name and-"

"Hey, hey, there is no one in there Raene. Hey, look at me," I cupped her cheek gently and drew her face towards mine, tears sprung to her eyes. She looked so, so sad and so lost. Her bottom lip trembled lightly,
"No, no, no, he's here. The man he's here he's-"

"I need you to tell me what you've take, your eyes Raene oh my god." I looked her over, noticing Julien and Lucy standing a little off to the side though it didn't seem as though Raene had.

Eventually we'd found out Raene had taken LSD, a very strong tab at that and it had caused her to freak out.

"Raene..." I whispered in to her hair, nkt really knowing what else to say, we should never have left her alone in the apartment. I should have noticed something was wrong when she'd asked to stay home.

"We shouldn't have left you alone.." Lucy spoke up in a hushed voice to the left of us, speaking aloud what everyone was thinking.

-

A little while later we'd decided it was best to get Raene in to the appointment. She still seemed completely out of it but there was nothing we could do until she was soberish and coming down from whatever it was she was experiencing. I'd only ever done acid a handful of times and it was never as bad as what Raene seemed to have been going through, whether or not she got the dosage wrong or she was spiked I don't know.

She was laying asleep on the couch, I watched the shallow rise and fall of her chest as ever now and then she would jump or twitch. Her face contorted in to something akin to pain every now and then but never once did she wake up.
I was just relieved to see she was somewhat okay.

I don't know what I would have done if we'd found her worse than this. She could have been dead.

I didn't know how long this arrangement was gonna last, with her side getting better and with her being able to do more things on her own she didn't necessarily need to stay anymore. I'd grown used to her in my space, I probably sounded obssesed or some shit but I'm not ashamed to admit I'd grown quite attached to her.
Julien and Lucy had too, we all cared so much about her, and to see her in this state.

God, I just hope it won't last forever.

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A/N

okay kinda a doodoo chapter I'm so sorry.

I hope it was somewhat enjoyable regardless, Phoebe's pov of the events that happened last chapter woo!

comment ur thoughts!! i enjoy reading them and it helps me know you either are enjoying or arent enjoying the chapters :)

have a good day/night :)))