Philasande & Mabalwa {UNEDITED}

Our Love:Philasande & Mabalwa 14

Chapter 24

Today marks a month of our laws I don't know how to feel I'm just so numb I wonder if it could have been a her or a him I wonder how happy I'd be right now I wonder how much of weight I would have gained more than anything I wonder just how happy he would have been had we not lost this opportunity to become parents well there you have it,I miscarried.
Phila and myself have been so disconnected from each other I think it's what depresses me even more that in such a sad time in our lives together we are unable to be there for each other emotionally.

I am saddened by the fact that my boyfriend chooses to cry behind closed doors he would rather cry in his study room then to cry with me at night and what hurts me the most is that when I cry he just walks out of the room not that I'm any better but other things had to be there for him and all he ever did was just push me away.

Life update though is that him and I moved in together soon after I came back from the hospital so I'll be in juggling between being a mother to Rumi and healing all by myself.

I just dropped Rumi off at school and I am on my way to the Hospital,as I drive in the underground parking lot I spot non other than thee Philasande Gumede's car and you know what I am shocked?phela aka lelanga ekhaya izolo ebsuku,i exit the car and he makes his way towards me,oh wow? He is even in a fresh suits looking clean but scruffy he really needs a new fade and a trim for his beard he looks like our current problems and I do not like that.

ME: fancy seeing you here.
i say this in a very low tone.
HIM: I'm sorry.
He says this looking directly into my eyes he says this while taking my hand into his hand.
i just nod my head and make my way into the hospitals entrance,I refuse to be emotionally taxed like this by this man.

Currently feeling very entitled to my partner's feelings so I would just like to feel what I feel for him right now and that has to be anger I feel very angry at him.

i love you guys and I am sorry.