All Things Go
"I pop a pill and remember the look in his eyes the last day he saw me."
"Let me make this clear i'm not difficult i'm just bout my business."
"Even the ones that hurt me the most I still show forgiveness."
"My child with Aaron would've been 16 any minute."
"All things go."
I couldn't sleep. After hours of tossing and turning, I just couldn't. No matter how bad I wanted to close my eyes and have that feeling take over me, it never happened.
Weeks, it's felt like I haven't had a proper rest. My eyes burn like hell and my head spin every chance it gets. I start to feel like it's my fault and this is my punishment.
Nothing feels the same anymore. I don't know where I went wrong and if I ever did right. With the way things are going in my head, i'm starting to feel like my life was all fake and nothing was worth it.
At a moment I felt like I was overthinking but at this rate, am I?
The sounds of heavy rain made me feel tired, I just can't get the urge to sleep. Everything in me said to relax and close my eyes. Momma always told me I was stubborn. No matter how hard I tried...
It felt like I was being haunted. Ever since his death i've been feeling like that. Like I could've made things better, saved him. Prevented him from being involved in senseless acts. But I couldn't catch on. I couldn't understand what my part was and how I could've done so.
But I know I could have.
There's a lot that I feel could've been prevented based on my actions. A lot of the hurt I feel today could be happiness if I went about life differently. They say things happen for a reason though huh?
I've yet to catch my reasoning.
Why am I sitting in a three story home alone? Why don't I have the family I always wanted? Why aren't I married and living happily ever after? Why don't I feel like my life is worth it?
But everything happens for a reason?
Everything seems pointless right now. There's people out here living happily with every worry in the world. And here I am worriless, but the most unhappy woman anyone could think of.
It's not fair if you ask me.
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nickinac's drafties
Fanfictionjust a bunch of drafts, catch the rift ! most likely won't be any part 2's because half of them are already books. just chapters that i wrote but didn't like.
