Life sometimes isn't worth living. It can grasp your throat and hold you tight until it's hard to breathe, until you're on your knees hoping the sun fades, or gets brighter. Life can be a blinding light you have to force yourself to sightlessly tread through, although it can be the softest light you'll find at the end of the tunnel.
Life has no meaning. It's just the way it is. Life is an inexplicable metaphor that cannot be described by the millions of adjectives in the written language. Sometimes it isn't worth living, but most of the time, with the right tools in both your hands, it's the most exhilarating euphoria to clasp you close. It can be a bed of bright flowers that blow rainbow petals through the wind like a goodbye sunset that melts through the sky. It can be a bed of nails you keep stepping through, over and over.
Though death is a comforting hand, putting your fingers between its palms is just an easy way off the roller coaster of existence. Many people close their eyes, or scribble down words like a madman, maybe take a paint brush and illustrate theirselves on the side of the contraption. I, for one, sometimes roll around in my isolation with the pen ink on my walls. I grab my keyboard and type letter by letter every thoughtless word that somehow has meaning.
I've treaded most of what life has batted at me for my age. I still have things to experience, mistakes to make, pain to endure. But, I don't regret a single thing I've done on this earth. Few actions here and there are memories I'd like to repent for, but other than that all the good things, the harmless chaos, the smiles, the laughs, I don't regret a single bit of it. Not one. The friends I've made in this lifetime are souls I'll never get to replay in the next life.
All I can hope? I live my life to the fullest, as corny as that sounds. What I mean by that is to escape every negative thing that brings me down and live for myself so I can help others see the euphoria life can toss at us. I've started on that, but I mean I want to actually start living. As an individual. As a budding adult. As everything I've ever dreamed to be. To surpass myself. To be something more than what my depression shells me into. I don't want to see the world in black and white, or in a river of tears that floods my serotonin. I want not a worry in the world, although it'll be a long while before that occurs. I want to see the world in full colors. Everything brighter than it should be.
Life isn't so bad. Some things are just stringing us back, and some just need a little push. But when you have everything in the palm of your hands, living life is like standing up in a car with the top down staring up at the sky as the clouds pass quicker through the wind that brushes against your cheeks.
