"Crazy, isn't it?" she turned her head around and giggled softly. "Really drives ya crazy."
Amelia snapped her attention back to Riley and tilted her head. "What were we talking about?" she spoke innocently.
"You know," Riley stared up at the sky, her lips slightly parting. "Love."
"Love?" Amelia's words came in a breathless whisper that could be somewhat heard. "What about love?"
"It's like the stars," Riley pointed up. "Ever-changing. Sparkling. Bright. Sometimes dim. You know?"
"You know, you're saying 'You know' a lot," Amelia giggled, covering her mouth before her fingers purposely slipped from her lips.
"But seriously, listen," Riley's voice grew soft as she continued to speak. "Love. Just...Love. It's a weird thing. Being able to fall for somebody. It's a strange feeling, yet...I don't know? Invigorating? Kinda...Intoxicating."
"Falling in love is like being drunk?" Amelia's innocent curiosity returned.
"No, no," Riley shook her head ever slightly. "Well, you could say it is, at some moments. But not black out drunk. Sometimes you get fuzzy," her words came along at a fast, smooth pace. "Like, uhm...Perhaps? I guess. I don't know. Love just is. You look at somebody and they make you just want to blurt the stupidest thing."
"Like what?"
"Something like, 'And you will forever shine brighter than a star, for love is the sun and moon and you my dear, are my Earth.' Some shit like that. Maybe something more poetic, but, yeah."
"It does sound nice," Amelia's eyes softened as she turned from Riley to face the moon. The moonlight sat just in the distance between the two, their faces both wrapped in the shadow of the night. "You ever fall in love?"
Riley let out a small laugh before stifling it with her throat. "Well, duh. How do you think I know what it feels like?"
"But, do you think true love is real? To be honest, I don't think 'true love' exists, or like love at first sight cause that makes everything seem perfect, when really nothing is," Amelia made a puzzled expression to herself. "Love has its ups and downs and with none of that is it really 'true' love? Then again some people really do have that, where the first person they meet becomes their one and only for the rest of their lives. Yet again that almost never happens, love goes different ways for different people, you know? Not saying people dont find their 'one' at some point, I just think true love kinda..is stereotypical prince and princess, like I hope no one's relationships are like that cause they need personality and sometimes that means different perspectives, hobbies, you know?"
"I see that," Riley chuckled to herself.
Amelia blushed before looking down. "Sorry, I made that way too complicated," she chuckled along.
"Nah," Riley smiled. "I have a philosophical view on emotions. Honestly, I think true love exists. But maybe not in stereotypical way of prince and princess you're talking about. I'm not saying true love means the 'one' is the person you first meet and KNOW you're going to spend the rest of your life with them. I don't know, it's weird, I don't think 'love' exists. Or like, you know, 'love'. Just what it's called. I think it's just a word to describe a weird feeling you get when you really like somebody, but not really, just like, you know?"
"Yeah, yeah, that makes more sense. Like not really a 'thing', more like a feeling?"
"Something like that. True love, though 'love' is a concept of feeling, for me, it's finding somebody you're so absolutely sure of. The person, distances away completes you. And not attachment-like in a way, but, when they're gone, you almost feel empty, like you're just existing because all you can do is wait for them to come back."
"Well, you shouldn't spend ALL your time waiting," Amelia furrowed her brows. "I get it, I'd wait too on the other end, but for them, it's not good, to just sit there and wither away over a person."
"It's not withering away," Riley shook her head. "It's more like, just sitting, waiting in a moment. Obviously I do things with my life, but in my spare time I stare at my phone and count the days, hoping."
"Doesn't sound any better, but," Amelia shrugged. "It's something, I guess."
"You try being in love."
"I have."
"And how is it?"
"Grueling. The distance sucks."
"Yeah, so," Riley started to get up. "You try waiting. Counting days on the clock. It's hard when you feel so empty."
"You don't think I feel empty?" Amelia shot her head over to her. "I'm dying inside. My soul is being crushed every moment without them and I just want to sit in their arms and bawl my eyes out every chance I get. I WISH I was with them. Every moment I'm awake all I think about is what it would be like if they were here."
"You'll be waiting a while, then," Riley sighed. "Day...Thirteen now? Yes, that sounds about right," the sound of her footsteps beneath the grass started to fill the air. "Day thirteen."
"You've been counting?" Amelia stumbled behind as she tried to get up to run.
"Yep," Riley impatiently tapped her watch. "Thirteen whole days."
"It really does suck, huh?" Amelia put on a sympathetic expression.
"You ask me, you're the one crying about wanting to bawl in their arms."
"Yeah, well," she scoffed. "I'm not the one keeping track of the days."
"Hard not to," Riley's voice grew flat. "I used to just cruise on, but that was when things were different. I broke a promise to myself, so now I track the days."
"What happened to the days when love was just an innocent joke? A way to look to the future? Things that we gushed about as kids because we were so desperate to meet our soulmate so soon?"
"We grow up."
"But why? Why does growing up make love so much more bitter than it should be? Why can't we just...Enjoy love for what it can give us?"
Riley's footsteps ceased, and she turned her head around to face Amelia with a blank expression, her eyes dull. "Amelia, love gives us so much. It can give us happiness, hope, the ability to look to the future with one another. But it also gives us heartbreak, hurt, attachment. We were innocent and naïve to how much a person could grasp our emotions. Now we're not."
"It's like grasping straws at this point, isn't it?" her voice grew weary and melancholic. "There's just acceptance...We can't change a thing, can we?"
"I wish we could," Riley bowed her head with a sigh. "I really wish we could. Otherwise this clock wouldn't be my only friend right now."
"Day thirteen," Amelia let out an inaudible whisper. "Has it really been thirteen days?"
"Thirteen whole days."
"Thirteen whole days," she repeated. "Thirteen. Whole. Days."
"Yes."
"Does that hurt?"
"A little bit. Not too much. I try not to miss them too much. Love is a fickle thing, isn't it?"
"It really is," Amelia let out a soft, sad chuckle. "Well—"
But before Amelia could finish her sentence, the air filled with the sound of a ringing alarm, the world pausing before Riley's eyes. Everything blacked out, Riley waking up in her bed with her phone blasting on the nightstand. She reached over and slammed the screen, grabbing her phone and staring at the date.
November 13th, 2023
"Day Fourteen," she sighed, letting her arms flop onto the pillows as she stared at the ceiling illuminated by sunlight. "Miss you, Amelia."
•
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