𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 ~ | 𝘔𝘢𝘹 𝘝𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯

Dolce Far Niente

~'~

Max

It was a strange feeling, this excitement.

I didn't mean the adrenaline that accompanied me over these weekends. Or the nerves that prickled at me before I got in the car. No. I was overly familiar with those sensations. This was something I hadn't felt in quite a while.

A challenge.

A challenger.

I had met someone who fought back when I pushed. And how she fought back. She had this fiery quality about her that made it impossible to stay away. It was impossible to not be curious how far I could push.

I don't push people around a lot, or intimidate them into giving me what I want. That's not how I do things. I earn people's respect or prove that I am someone to be respected. And I like to believe that I've done a good job of that.

But she was different.

She didn't respect me. She didn't need to. She wasn't easy to figure out. When I push, she pushes back harder. She never let me get the last word, always bouncing off what I said before and twisting it against me. There was something incredibly intoxicating about this. I didn't exactly feel threatened by her, it was more like excitement that finally there was someone who had the potential to.

"Hey, have you seen P?" I asked Kelly after she had given my cheek a quick kiss.

I had been with Kelly for quite a while now, and despite our rough patches here, there, here, and there again, it was good. I loved her, she loved me back, even with ups and downs. But what relationship was just smooth sailing? Nothing involving love could ever be as simple as 'I love you', there was always more. Complications. I learned the hard way. But it was good. Things were good. They were good.

I was happy.

I was.

"Yeah, of course she's-" Her face fell as she looked at the empty space, where I assume Penelope was a moment ago. She turned back to me, a guilty expression on her face.

"Shit, I was distracted for one minute." She cursed. "I swear she was here a second ago..." I clenched my jaw at the thought of her wandering around on her own. Even though by now she knew the paddock well enough and almost everyone knew her, I still, understandably, felt distressed.

I know she wasn't biologically mine, but that didn't change anything for me. That little girl meant more to me than my own life.

I don't think I'll ever come across a person I could love more than that. More than myself. More than life itself.

I suppose not everyone found that one love. The one where you look at someone and you just know that if anything happened you would tear the very sky apart to bring them back.

You would burn the world just to keep them warm.

I know love. But not that love. I don't think I ever will. I don't believe that I'm the sort of person who it finds. I'm okay with that. I'm okay. Because things are good.

"How could you let her wander off?" I asked her as I scanned the crowd around us. Kelly's face was getting paler by the second, and I immediately regretted snapping at her. I hated when it happened, but sometimes I couldn't control it.

"Sorry. Don't worry, okay? I'll find her." I gave her a quick kiss, hoping to comfort her. She gave me a nod. "She might be off with Lando, you know how much she likes him." She nodded.

We split up to look in different directions. I tried to get into the mindset of a little girl to see where she would have gone, but I still couldn't see her anywhere. My eyes scanned everywhere for her familiar brown hair, but

She's smart. She wouldn't go straight into the crowd.

I tried to think like that, or even with a shred of logic, but my mind felt clouded. A thick haze of worry had settled in my head, behind my eyes, making it difficult to reason normally. I felt a familiar wave of protectivity wash over me.

Then suddenly, I saw her.

But she wasn't alone.

There was a woman with her. My heart leaped to my throat at the thought of her walking off with a random stranger, but as I neared them, I realized that the woman holding her hand was no stranger. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing it wasn't.

Sabrina.

I slowed down. I wanted to rush in and take P away, but something told me to wait. Sabrina had a warm smile that, for once, reached her eyes. A smile I hadn't had the pleasure of witnessing, since she only ever looked at me with a glare. Then I remembered that she had smiled at me once, on the boat. After I had done the most idiotic thing I have ever done.

No, I don't want to relive it. Not again.

Penelope seemed quite happy, quite safe. Sabrina said something to her, and they began to walk away, with P holding three of Sabrina's fingers, in a way that could only be described as heart-melting. I felt a strange sensation in my chest.

It was warm.

No! Stop it!

I shook it off quickly. I followed them into the Red Bull garage again. P was chattering with her about something, but I was too far away to hear her exact words

"-where was the last place you saw mama?" Sabrina was asking her as I came into earshot. I stopped behind them and cleared my throat.

"Maxie!" Penelope smiled, catching sight of me. She trotted forward and hugged my leg.

"There you are, darling." I smiled at her. Sabrina stared at us in confusion.

"How do you-" She began, lost.

"Hawke. Stay away from my family." I told her, my voice hard. She blinked. Was that hurt in her eyes? It was gone within a second.

"I was helping her! You were the one who left her all alone." She snapped back. "I didn't know she was your daughter."

"Pay more attention."

"I think I should be telling you that." She crossed her arms. She had that look on her face again. Fucking hell, she really knew how to piss me off. I gritted my teeth.

"I don't care. Don't come near my daughter ever again." I growled. Her jaw clenched.

"What did you want me to do? Just leave her to wander around by herself until you realized she was missing?" She said, frustrated. I was too. "She needed help, so I gave it."

"Next time don't."

"Next time be a better dad." She snapped.

I paused. My lips were parted to say something else, but my words had left me. Why had that hurt me?

"Not in front of her." I said more quietly. She looked as if she wanted to say something else, but she didn't. Instead, she turned on her heel and marched away.

Good riddence.

"Why did you yell at her?" Penelope asked me. I looked down at her, and she was staring up at me with those big eyes again. I softened.

"It's complicated." I lifted her up onto my shoulders, making her giggle. "Now let's go find your mom before she has a heart attack."