When the Star Fell in Love With the Moon

Sleep is Hard

Remus groaned, rolling over to his side.
It was 4:00 am and he couldn't sleep. His body still ached from the last full moon and coupled with the fact that every time he shut his eyes he saw horrible things, didn't bode well for him getting a good nights sleep. This had become a common thing for Remus over the years. He barley remembered anything from the full moons, he usually woke up in a state of pain, dread and confusion as to what the night's events were. His friends filled him when he asked for it but other than that, he'd rather not know. His memories and the wolf's memories were completely separate, that was except for his dreams. The repressed part of him haunted his unconscious mind as he whiteness what unfolded when he transformed in the form of nightmares.

Fuck it

He was awake now and had little hope of being able to fall back asleep in the uncomfortable state he was in. He pulled himself begrudgingly to his feet and found his nearest sweater and some socks before rummaging through his trunk. Over the past few summers he had developed a small group of muggle friends. They had introduced him to weed. He was hesitant at first of course but he found it helped greatly with his anxiety and monthly pain. They had given him some for the school year, Remus was very grateful. Quietly, he opened up the container and poured a small amount onto a piece of paper, trying to keep it in a neat line as he rolled himself a small joint. He put the rest away and grabbed his lighter from his nightstand before sneaking out the window onto the small balcony they all shared. He sighed. It was the beginning of fall so the nights weren't freezing just yet. Remus welcomed the cold air on his face and in his lungs as he took a deep breath and sat down on the ground with his back against the railing. He stretched his legs out and was surprised to find they reached the other side of the balcony, his feet pushing up against the railing

Shit maybe he had grown

He fumbled around in his pocket, finding the joint and holding it up to his lips before lighting it. Sure he could light it with his wand but he kind of enjoyed the ambiance of using the lighter, as he felt the flame almost lick his finger tips. He put the lighter back in his pocket and took a long drag from the joint, looking over the silent horizon.

NOOO!

Sirius gasped as he sat up abruptly. He felt his eyes fill with tears as he tried to focus on anything else other then the nightmare he had just had. He looked out across at the window.

Moony

He caught sight of Remus smoking out on the balcony, the small flame of his lighter illuminating his face slightly, his messy hair, his hazel eyes, and perfectly his sculpted face, the dim light scattering across his cheekbones and jaw. From here Sirius could only just make out the scars that lay across Remus's face.
Sirius had always thought Remus was handsome, I mean he thought all his friends were at least fairly good looking, in a very platonic sort of way. Remus was just...different.

Sirius shuffled out of bed and wiped his eyes of the tears before they could stream down his face. He had been having nightmare's regularly for about as long as he could remember. His home life had scarred him more than he liked to admit and he relived the arguments and abuse in his nightmares. Remus had always been there to comfort him as he was usually up as well. The two boys had been especially close, bonding over the trauma they both faced since young age. Sirius often crawled into the larger boys bed and they would lay there in a comfortable silence, just calmed by each other's presence. Sometimes they talked about their dreams and troubles as they both felt safe when it came to the other person. Remus was the only one of 4 boys who knew what Sirius home life was really like.

"Mind if I join you?"

Remus looked up to see a weary looking Sirius standing next to him on the balcony.Remus moved his legs to make room for him as Sirius sat down across from him. Their legs entangled as there wasn't much room, the balcony barely fit the two of them but neither boy complained about the physical touch and close proximity.

"Nightmares?" Remus asked taking a drag.

Sirius nodded, burrowing his head into his knees

"Pads you okay?" Remus asked, reaching out and put a hand on the boys shin, stroking his thumb soothingly across the boys leg.

Sirius looked up and smiled weakly. Remus wanted nothing more than to pull him into his chest and hold him, comforting him. Granite Remus always wanted to that, however he figured Sirius didn't feel the same. Remus looked up at him.

"Is it your parents?" Remus asked tentatively.

Sirius nodded in response before hiding his face back in his knees The two sat in silence for a moment or two before Remus spoke.

"Has it gotten worse?" He asked almost afraid of the answer.

Sirius looked up, nodding timidly. He could see the pain in his friend's eyes.

"Sirius I'm so sor-"
Sirius cut him off before he could finish.

"They kicked me out.." Sirius choked.

Remus's eye widened as he tried to fathom how they could do that to their own son

"Shit Sirius that's horrible" Remus finally responded.

Sirius shrugged, looking away as he tried to hold back tears

"When did they?.." Remus questioned.

"June er well maybe early July?"
Sirius mumbled back

"Sirius! That's nearly half the summer! James said you only stayed at his place for a week or so! Where were you?!"
Remus said, staring Sirius down with a very stern and concerned look

"I was a dog.." Sirius said quietly and shrugged, not meeting Remus's eyes

"Pads... that's.. no way to live.." Remus said softly, his voice almost breaking Sirius responded, his voice shaking a bit as he spoke.

"What was I supposed to do Moony? There's not many places for me to sleep, at least not as a wizard, is there?" He let out a defeated sigh.

"I.. They hate me...my hair..my demeanor..ever since I got put in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin.."

Remus didn't respond.

"I should've seen it coming really... they've been threatening to kick me out for years.."
Sirius's voice broke as he tried to hold back tears.

"I'm so stupid"
His voice was barely a whisper as tears started falling down his face.

Remus's heart broke.
He couldn't bear to see Sirius like this, He bit back a fit of anger

After all they've done to him

He stared at Sirius, and without thinking, reached out, wrapped his arms around him and dragged the boy to him Sirius barely responded and rag-dolled as he let his friend comfort him Remus held him against his chest, almost cradling him in a way as the two sat on the balcony. Sirius let out a shaky breath as he tried to breathe through the tears. He hid his face in Remus's sweater and the sent of chocolate, and old books washed over him. He sunk deeper into the embrace and let it surround him as he tried to regain control of his mind and breathing as the tears streamed from his eyes. Remus on the other hand, tried to remain still and calm as his rather attractive best friend snuggled into him.
He hoped Sirius couldn't hear how much his heart was pounding and prayed be didn't look up as Remus could feel his cheeks getting hot with blush. Remus let out a breath and tried to relax a bit, resting his head against Sirius's.

Maybe we could sleep like this
It was 4:00 am after all.

"Thanks Moons"
Sirius whispered into Remus's chest.

"Always, Pads"

Art by: @spOOkii_ (Chef) on Instagram