lost cause | billie eilish

6 | stay away

she glanced back and forth from my lips to my eyes. and then, she began to lean in slowly.

don't do it, billie.

but i really want to.

but i shouldn't.

but i am.

i gently slid my hand behind her head and brought her closer, having our lips crash. hers were so soft, i wanted to melt.

no time was wasted as we both inserted our tongues into each other's mouth, making out. saylor slid her soft hands up my shirt, rubbing my side and back ever so lightly.

i ran my fingers through her hair before dragging my hand down her back and to her ass, pulling her more up against me.

our bodies were now touching. i placed my hand on saylor's thigh and rubbed it, eventually pulling her leg on top of me.

she then just got fully on top of me, straddling me, and still kissing me. i placed my hands on her ass and started guiding her hips in a grinding motion against me.

and we did that for a good minute.

but then, saylor slightly moaned into my mouth.

and that.. that made me snap out of it.

"oh my god," i said as i broke the kiss.

saylor just blinked in shock, as well did i.

"um," i paused. "im so sorry i- um we shouldn't-"

"oh," she got off of me. "um i- im sorry. i shouldn't have-"

"no no," i cut her off. "dont- dont apologize, please. it's fine."

"o- okay," she said as she laid down awkwardly.

fuck, i feel bad.. but i just can't.

i literally didn't know what to do. so i just grabbed my tv remote and put on The Office. i basically had to force myself to face forward and not look saylor's way.

but i could see her kind of glancing at me from my peripheral. i know she's confused. i just hope she's not hurt.

after about 2 minutes, saylor turned over with her back facing me and pulled the covers more up her body.

i waited about 5 minutes before i got fully under too. i didn't know if she was sleep or not, but i didn't care.

i reached my arm over her and pulled her into my body, so that we were now spooning. i kept my arm around her with my hand placed on her stomach.

she then put her hand over mine, rubbing it with her thumb.

guess she's not sleep.

the butterflies i have right now are insane. i dont know, this just feels so right.

but it's not.

-  saylor's pov  -

i woke up in billie's arms. my head buried under her neck. my arm wrapped around her body. it felt so good, i wanted to stay there forever.

the annoying ass siren alarm started blaring aloud from her phone, waking her up and causing her to groan.

"ugh fuck," she complained as she picked her phone up and turned the alarm off.

i smiled. "well good morning sunshine."

"good morning love," billie rasped as she wiped her crusty eyes.

"you sleep good?" i chuckled in a tease at her appearance.

"can you tell?" she laughed. "oh god my breath stinks."