lost cause | billie eilish

12 | she knows

"i don't know bruh," i told harley. "she's gonna hate me eventually."

"then go get her ass!" she told me.

"she won't talk to me," i shrugged. "and i don't blame her."

"well yeah i mean if you fucked me then went back to your terrible girlfriend the next day, i'd be mad too," she nodded.

i sighed.

harley and i have been friends for years ever since we met at a figure skating competition in LA. she's so cute with her dark orange curly hair.

but from the jump, she was always skeptical about paige cause she saw some stuff go down before. but i never fully told her what was happening.

but after seeing the stitches on my face, she somehow knew. it's like something just clicked in her. smart ass.

so i ended up telling her what was going on, but i begged her to stay out of it and let me handle it. but she said if she ever calls me and i don't answer the phone, she's calling the cops immediately.

ok anyway..

"she probably thinks you fucking used her for sex to cope with what happened that night," she suggested.

"that's not the case though," i shook my head. "i just wanted her so bad. i always want her."

"so none of it was to try and forget what had happened?" she rose her eyebrows.

"no... i don't know," i shook my head. "either way i still wanted her."

"but saylor babe," harley started as she sat at my kitchen island in my apartment. "if you know billie likes you, then why can't you just-"

"she has a boyfriend still," i explained. "i don't think she likes me like that."

"well yeah i guess," she nodded, dipping a chip in salsa and eating it.

"plus," i added. "it's not as easy as everyone fucking thinks. paige is manipulative as fuck. and knowing that doesn't make it easy to ignore."

harley just nodded.

"like when someone is constantly threatening to do all these bad things to you if you leave them alone," i squinted. "how am i supposed to just walk away?"

"i get that," she said. "so how did she react to you bringing billie to whoop her ass?"

"i didn't even know billie was gonna do that," i chuckled as i shook my head. "but it did feel good to see paige the next day bruised in the face. and plus it was also really hot to see billie be overprotective of me."

"isn't she always?"

"yes," i told her.

"and so paige didn't fuss at you at all for billie doing that?"

"um," i scratched my neck. "no, surprisingly."

harley just rose her eyebrows.

     
                                 - billie's pov -

"what's that?" i asked tatum as i watched her laptop screen while she was on it.

"moony and paige's registry for the wedding," she said lowly.

i just rolled my eyes. "oh god."

some time has passed and though i haven't talked to saylor, im not as sad about the situation anymore. taking time to myself has been helping but i do kinda miss her stupid ass.

i just hope she's ok.

tatum started scrolling through their registry list while i sat to the side, making myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.