The Reservation (Nanami Kento || JJK)

Apology

I didn't have any focus to work on commissions the rest of that morning. The hours slipped by, wasted, as I scrolled social media for a distraction from my broken heart.

Over and over again, Nanami's furious face flashed in my head, and I would roll over, pressing my face into the sofa pillows, screaming into them to expel all the embarrassment and heartbreak.

I ended up falling asleep like that after a while, face down on the sofa, slightly suffocated by the throw pillow.

A tap on the window woke me a little after noon. I looked up, thinking it was a bird, only to see Nanami trapped on my third-floor balcony from the outside.

I blanched, falling off the couch with a sudden fright. This couldn't be real, could it?

He looked miserable standing out there, then pointed to the sliding door handle, indicating that it was locked.

Without thinking, I rushed forward to let him in. "What are you— How did you—"

"Damn Gojo..." he muttered under his breath as he stepped into my living room. "I'm sorry for disturbing your afternoon nap, but I asked Gojo to teleport me to your apartment door, not on your balcony."

I blinked, gaping up at him while trying to smooth back the loose, sleep-wild strands of hair from my face. "Um... It's okay?"

I really didn't know what to say to that, but Nanami still looked furious, and I wasn't sure if it was at me or at Gojo this time.

Blinking rapidly, he looked off at a spot over my head as he added, "And I also came to apologize to you for my behavior earlier today."

I stiffened. The apology came quickly, but the hurt from earlier had yet to fully heal. "It's... It's okay..." I said softly.

"It's not. I was rude and brusque. You did me a favor, and I should have thanked you for it."

My eyes pinned on the tie he wore tidily around his neck. It was easier to look at than his face right now, but it was also a reminder of what started all of this in the first place.

We'd never had a fight... So I didn't know if we were strong enough in our relationship to come out the other side unscathed.

"I understand," I replied. Belaboring this was the last thing I wanted to do. There was no point telling him how much it hurt when he said those things to me, or that I was beyond embarrassed over what I said too.

"Mae..." He waited until I forced my eyes up, meeting his dark gaze behind his glasses. "You're not Yu's chore to me. I need you to know that."

Wrapping my arms around my middle, I retreated inwards. "I know..."

"I don't think you do. Please understand—"

"I said I know," I said a bit more forcefully, and he shut up quickly to let me say my piece. "You don't need to baby me. I was just upset earlier because I was embarrassed. I know I should have waited to give it to you, and maybe deep down I wanted to use it as an excuse to see you at the school. Yu only let me visit once when I was a kid, and I can't help it that I feel like I missed out on so much. I really was worried without you having your tie though. That was the main reason I showed up. I'm sorry. I made a scene in front of your students and I just..."

I slapped my hands over my face, hiding my eyes as I heaved a frustrated breath.

"You have no reason to apologize," he intoned deeply after I didn't try again to speak. "You did a thoughtful thing and don't need to explain yourself."

That's not all though... I desperately wanted to tell him the rest, but the words never made it past my lips. I want to be closer to you and your world. I feel like you push me away and keep me at arm's length. You only let me in enough to get a glimpse, but I want more. You're never going to feel the same way I feel about you. It's killing me.

Slowly, I lowered my hands. No tears stained my cheeks, as I successfully kept them at bay. "I accept your apology." And I'll never do that again so we don't fight ever again.

Nanami pursed his lips, seeming to sense that things weren't totally resolved. He nodded graciously though. "Thank you. Is there anything else I can do to make up for it?"

I shook my head as my arms slipped back around myself. "Let's just go back to the way things were. Okay? Come over when you're hungry. And maybe use the front door instead of my balcony from now on." It was a cheap joke, and I had to force the lift of my lips.

"Hopefully I never need to rely on Gojo again to get me somewhere quick," Nanami grunted. He adjusted his glasses and sighed. "I promise to use your front door from now on."

"Good."

"I should head back to school now," he said, moving to my front door. "Thank you for letting me in."

I would always let him in... No matter how mad at him I was, no matter how heartbroken, I would always let him in because he had become my greatest weakness.

Instead of saying any of that though, I forced another smile and said, "I'm not so cruel to leave you out on my balcony. How would you get down if I did that?"

"Quite easily, actually. This is only the third floor."

I scoffed at his arrogance. "You sorcerers... You could at least pretend to be human like the rest of us."

"Right. Sorry. Thank you for letting me in so I wasn't stranded on your balcony."

He faked normalness pathetically.

With a snort, I walked him to the door, seeing him out. Things felt smoothed over for the moment, but as soon as he was gone...

I slumped back down onto the couch, clutching my aching heart.

Falling for him was such a mistake.