velvet paradise (ftm x fem)

Track 28

WARNING: This chapter may be a bit heavy. TW.

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ALAIA

With an abrupt tug, hoop earrings unclasp from my earlobes, landing with a sharp clatter into the bathroom sink. A damp washcloth eliminates remnants of smeared makeup and traces of my teardrops. My glance hesitates to linger on the mirror, wary of my unnerving, foreign reflection. Within, a tumultuous mix of vulnerability, volatility, and a whirlpool of emotions stir, pushing me farther from the grasp of reality. Clinging to the counter, I gulp and shut my eyes.

Kenbe fèm; pa lage.

Hold on tight; do not give up.

Kenbe li ansanm.

Keep it together.

In spite of the turmoil persisting inside my mind, I compel myself to glare at my visage. I inspect every angle, tilt, and flaw of my complexion with measured inhalations, reclaiming my identity from my mother's turbulent meltdowns. Quietly, I shed the dress, a garment I thought Jaire would undress me from. As the fabric slips away, I conjure his shiver-inducing touch and envision his hands enveloping me, murmuring tender endearments. Was he putting on an act this whole time?

Stepping into the shower, scalding droplets strike my skin, securing me in a cloud of steam. I reach for a calming eucalyptus-scented cleanser, longing for it to wash away memories of tonight from my mind. I allowed myself to be vulnerable with a man who, in a burst of rage, disregarded my feelings entirely. Once again, I got caught in the crosshairs of someone's wrath. The thunderous shouts and cursing were uncharacteristic, but his subsequent silence cut the deepest. There was no attempt at an apology or explanation after his disrespect—just averted eyes, dismissing my turmoil and emotions. He had the chance to soothe the storm, to redirect the conversation, yet he remained silent, prompting me to unleash the worst parts of myself upon him.

I'm not without fault, and I don't anticipate him always knowing the perfect words or actions, but I hoped he'd make an effort. He warned me about his issues with communication and conflict, but he also promised to try. If he had shown me a sliver of the Jaire I'm used to, I would've lowered my weapons. Instead, our inner demons battled in the backseat of a Rolls Royce, leaving me with valuable questions.

What's the truth?

Why did he leave me alone, and what was he doing? When I asked where he went, I was told he disappeared upstairs with Bria, accompanied by a sly glance and a whispered mention of their insatiable sexual connection. I'm hesitant to believe he'd receive head from me and then fuck her, but his absence stretched on for nearly an hour. From the corner of my eye, I witnessed how he shamelessly ogled her body. Perhaps he gave in to the temptation he had been denying.

With my lonesome, the party succumbed to the influence of drugs and alcohol. Friendly faces to cling to for social support drifted out of reach. Without the vigilant gaze of my CEO, suitors swam in, ready to sink their teeth into fresh meat.

The music escalated, helping me drown out unwelcome advances. Seeking refuge, I found a secluded nook near the stairs, a sanctuary where I debated finding and confronting Jaire and Bria. A stranger spotted me, brown skin etched with a fraternity tattoo, drunkenly sputtering how he'd love to introduce me to Hollywood. I hadn't a clue of his identity and no intentions of learning. This injured his ego, resulting in him shouting, "Don't you know who the fuck I am?!"

Fending off the assault of his halitosis, I pushed my palm against his face. In return, he seized my arms, using his weight to force me into the corner's shadows. Trapped and confined against an unyielding wall, he released my hands, seeking to explore non-permitted areas of my body. His words dripped with mockery and menacing promises of a harsh lesson. My entire focus shifted to evading his tightening grip and maneuvering away from his forceful kisses, each breath he exhaled scalding my skin. The overwhelming scent of his nauseating cologne swarmed my nostrils, intensifying my urgency. Each successive second became more and more crucial.