Phərømoneş; The Fællën Ælphå

Chapter 17

Keith's POV 

It's been a month, I've been here. There is a few things I've learned about him and that's his very tidy when he's in work mode, he likes to be in the knowing. So everyday he comes home he inquires what I've done and how I've eaten, he doesn't force me but he watches me keenly whenever I eat. I think he's been studying my eating patterns, I'm not sure.

"Are you okay?" He asks me.

Another thing he's whole aura and exterior might be cold but he is also very attentive, I don't know if it's just me over imagining or he is doing this out of obligation. 

"Yes," I nod.

Today he is my appointment with the therapist, usually he'd be by work but it seems he didn't. 

"After dropping me off the lemo will return for you, how long are you expected to stay." 

"Around a hour and half," 

"Good, is there anything particular you need?" 

"No, not really I was thinking I might need a new tablet but–" 

"Then a tablet it is, I'll have him buy the latest model I'm guessing you need it for your work. I'll have the censor pen as well."  He said.

Why is he so caring? I know we are partners but there is no need to be like this, after all I know what business marriages are like and the sole reason we got married is due to my pheromones. 

Also, about that why is it that he hasn't tried anything? 

I know what it means marrying for matching pheromones, the capability rate means two things for an alpha. 

One the chances of getting an alpha of an level is high, and two rut seasons. 

When I was an alpha even though I didn't experience rut often I know the feeling one experience in this time and I know it's miserable an omega can help with that, although there pheromones can drive one wild with matching rates it has an opposite effect it helps cool the mind down. How do I know this? 

It happened with MacKenzie, we matched perfectly and we just linked. Although dad said it's not the chase with every pheromone matching some might have the opposite effect and bring excitement throughout them.

But I hope, mine is calming to him. He drops me off then escort me to my therapist he didn't stay long and just remind then left, I look at my doctor Alyah Grayson. She is a beta I still hand my mask on though it felt more safer with it on.

"Good morning Keith, how have you been?" She asks giving me that usual open smile.

"I've been well," 

"I've seen that you complexion improved," she states.

"Well I guess," 

"Why don't you tell me about it?" 

I sit in sofa taking off my shoes as I hug my knees. 

"He has been very nice to me, though he does stare a long." 

"Does his staring makes you uncomfortable?" 

"Not really, sometimes, it just feels as though he might see something that I don't want to," 

"Does that mean he hasn't seen your scar yet?" 

I draw down my sleeve looking at the scar wound on it, I've always hidden it. It's one of the main reasons I wear long clothes that often times can not fit me. Case I feel that if I don't I might be expose, they might see the scars that haunts me the sins I've committed.

"No, or I don't think so, he didn't try anything so he hasn't gotten to," 

"Do you know why?" 

"I don't," 

"And haven't asks because you're afraid," 

"It's not that really I just don't want him to think of me as—" 

"As?" 

What I truly am disgusting.

"You're avoiding the topic purposefully because you are afraid, you're constantly being afraid and you know that. Keith you cannot let the past control, someday you will have to remove those clothes and he will see that scar and even for a moment you'll be exposed," she said softly.

I know, but I don't want that day to come, I don't want him to see me as disgusting. Just for a moment let my sins not haunt me that's all I want but I guess that's too much to ask.

"I just… for a moment… I want to pretend, pretend nothing never happened and make it all better," I said softly.

"Sometimes that is what we all want, but we all can't have that." 

"But can't I?" 

"I can give you for a moment but something me it won't make a difference coming from me," she said with brows furrowed.

Of course not from her, from mom, dad and my siblings I wish for a moment we could all smile again were there is no sadness just happiness.