A Blue Mountain Memory

XXIII

Lee's eyes traced the aged grooves that lined the wooden planks above his head. He had been staring at these grooves for several months, focusing his mind only on their patterns and not his deformity. Sometimes his thoughts wandered to Scarlet, but the pain in his chest and the tightening in his throat became too unbearable– so instead, his mind moved back to observing the grooves, hoping to numb itself from the boredom. His once active and sharp mind had now become a space of dark oblivion, contemplating nothing but the grooves. It was easier that way, considering his condition.

Crippled, indignant, and alone.

Even when the bedroom door swung open and Lee heard shuffled footsteps, he still did not move his gaze from the grooves. Even when Cora approached his bedside with a strange expression on her face, Lee still did not reposition his glance. Her soft-spoken words entered Lee's ears, but he did not bother to comprehend them. The moment he had first awoken from his horrible accident was the moment he chose to ignore everything around him.

Yet a strange, heavy hand suddenly placed itself on Lee's shoulder. His peripheral vision could sense a tall man standing beside him, though he could not determine their identity. The grooves, Lee reminded himself, just focus on the grooves. But a unique smell captured Lee's attention. It was not a scent he encountered often. It was a rich aroma, some kind of cologne. Not the smell of a working man. For the first time in weeks, Lee turned his head.

Despite the sharp pain that shot through Lee's neck, followed by a dull ache, his mind now focused on a new subject.

Lee had only ever conversed with Benjamin Call a few times, mostly regarding church matters and, occasionally, the mill. Lee had always admired Benjamin. He idolized his work ethic, noting how he spent most of his time shut away in his office. When Benjamin was not at his desk, Lee had seen him offering money or food to the beggars who occupied the town's alleys. Despite his wealth, and horrible wife, Benjamin always managed to help others. Lee thought it curious how such a pious and humble man could have chosen someone like Kelly Brooks as their business partner. Lee no longer admired Benjamin, but instead hated him for allowing the accident to happen. Lee had always viewed Benjamin as some kind of savior, so where had he been that morning in February?

"Lee," Benjamin said quietly, lowering himself down to Lee's eye level, "how have you been?"

Lee found the question mindless, but he understood Benjamin's habit of shallow courtesy. "Right," Benjamin said, realizing the foolishness of his inquiry, "look, I need to discuss a very important matter with you."

Lee weakly raised an eyebrow, still reluctant to speak. His silence had awarded him some sense of comfort. He found it safe and was not ready to part with that feeling.

"The morning of the... accident. Was Jimmy Banks there? The superintendent?"

Lee shook his head once.

"Right..." A troubled look clouded Benjamin's face, "was Mr. Brooks there?"

Lee nodded once.

Images from that morning began pouring into Lee's head. The biting cold air, the emptiness of the mill, the creaking of the machine. For weeks he had pushed it deep into his mind, trying his best not to relive it– but he could no longer fight the memories that were clawing their way to his conscience. As he grew aware of his recollection of the accident, Lee also grew aware of the throbbing pain in his leg.

"Lee, was Mr. Brooks-" Benjamin was visibly searching for words to say, "was he awake? I mean, was he present? Or was he... preoccupied."

Lee could feel a burning sensation of anger festering deep in his chest. He wanted to scream and curse Kelly Brooks, but his mouth would not open. Instead, he could only furrow his eyebrows and frown.