A Blue Mountain Memory

XX

Baxter slowly pulled on his boots, aching with exhaustion. The morning light had not yet reached above the trees and a sharp, cold wind bit through the gray dawn. He looked over to his son whose head sat on one hand while the other lazily lifted a spoonful of grits to his mouth. Lee's eyes, half-open, focused on the wall across from himself– concentrating on a fixed point before him while seemingly miles away.

Baxter hated dragging his son to the mill before everyone else, but Kelly Brooks valued profit and more hours working meant more hours producing– more hours producing meant more product for Brooks to sell up north at an unreasonable price.

Baxter's mind wandered to his daughter who remained tucked away, warm in her bed up in the loft. Yet Baxter did not picture her as the lost and weak eighteen-year-old, expectant mother she was. He pictured her as the bright, energetic, and hopeful young girl she had once been. A soft smile crept upon his face as he imagined the small child skipping through the door, wild braids flopping against her shoulders, holding up a small toad she had insisted on keeping as a pet.

Baxter pulled his worn coat over his tired shoulders and quietly caught Lee's attention, taking care not to wake Cora from her rest. The men slipped out of the warm cabin and into the unforgiving February morning.

Cora had not left the cabin for two weeks. Not since Elijah Brooks had revealed her secret to all of Mount Baylin. Only Farmer Redd had continued treating the Davis's with any semblance of respect. Even Mr. Banks hesitated to welcome Lee into his shop, afraid it could jeopardize his business and his name.

Cora, however, did not mind her isolation from the outside world. In fact, she had given up on it altogether. Over the last few months, she had discovered how selfish, cruel, and unforgiving the world truly was. She no longer dreamed of Elwood's return. She could no longer find the beauty she had once seen all around her. Everything had turned dull. Everything had become frightening. Cora resorted to looking only at her ceiling and occasionally one spot on the wall downstairs.

She spent most of her time in bed, staring blankly into space, imagining what her baby may look like. She floated around the ceiling, gazing down upon herself on the rocking chair. In her frail arms rested a small bundle. Sometimes, Cora could see the babe's rosy cheeks and soft, sweeping lashes. Sometimes its eyes opened, and Cora caught faintest hint of Elwood's deep gray. But sometimes the child's face was gnarled and demented, the bundle of soft wool melted to a soup of black, steaming tar. Cora did not know why that happened, but it did. She tried desperately to feel excited, but mostly she hated the child who would soon dictate her life. Yet her child was the only thing left that was unspoiled by the outside world, and she decided that– despite her intrusive, vile thoughts– she would do her best to protect it from all that she had experienced. Besides, she liked the idea of giving life to something that would thus love her unconditionally, unaware of her past transgressions, and not of the opinion that she was a dirty whore.

But two weeks with no fresh air had taken their toll on Cora. When she finally awoke on a particularly cold February morning, Cora dressed herself in layers, grabbed her book, and ventured into the woods. The sun was now peaking over the treetops and gray dawn had transformed into a bright blue and yellow morning. The sun bounced off the snow, presenting a false glow of warmth while the air bit Cora's face as she made her way down a narrow path.

She soon came upon her and Elwood's cabin. She could not think of any other place to go. The lake would be too cold and windy, and the town was out of the question. She did not have the strength to face the nasty men and women who had spat vicious rumors about her at church. Cora no longer had the patience to be around other people. She figured the only friend she would need from now on was her baby.