Nuptials

Chapter 6

"Oh, so Ryan had the full package," Owen bitterly announced, his voice slightly elevated, "He was married to you, he met your family, you had a baby for him..."

"Owen, don't make it sound like that," she begged, trying her best to remedy the situation, "It wasn't like that."

"That's exactly what it sounds like," he challenged her, "Am I to assume you were both in the same rehab centre too?"

Amelia sighed, not knowing how he was making this sound so bad, unless it was. "We were." Owen's mind was imploding from the sudden information, there was so much left unsaid by her. He had so many questions, and so many new doubts.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?" That was the first question he wanted to ask. "And don't say it's because you knew I'd act like this. I'm only acting like this because you didn't tell me."

"I don't know," she answered truthfully, "It's a part of my life I want to forget, as bad as that sounds."

"Amelia, I can't marry you if you're going to continue shutting me, and yourself, out of your past," he told her, "So it's either we talk about this now or..." Or we don't get married. She knew that's what he wanted to say.

"Would you understand if I said I'm not ready to talk about it?" she dared to ask, hoping for some sort of sympathy when she looked at him. Instead, all she saw was disappointment and pain, pain she caused.

"I wasn't ready to talk about Megan," he countered, standing up straight, "You made me feel like I was ready." Amelia closed her eyes, tears falling as she came to terms with the fact that she was being crudely unfair with him. He deserved to be upset, he'd been vulnerable with her in a way he'd never been before, and now she was too afraid to reciprocate the gesture. He deserved so much more. "Amelia I was ready to marry you yesterday, and now I'm beginning to feel like you still have one foot out the door for Ryan. I deserve more than this," he said, taking the words out of her mind, "You always lie about him and I'm done with it."

"Was?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yes, was. Clearly you forgot you stoned me with your engagement ring, over Cristina." He walked towards her, resting his hands on her shoulders, and giving them a squeeze. "When you're ready, you're ready. But I can't guarantee you I'll be here when that happens." He took the three glasses, and the mug of water Amelia had in her hands and left the kitchen. Taking steady breaths, the Shepherd tried to figure out how she could fix this, if she could. She'd never meant to lie to Owen, quite the opposite. She'd hoped that by omitting her past with Ryan, she'd never have to lie. But no, she was wrong.

Just as he'd left, Addison came into the kitchen, like a saving grace. "Need any help?"

"Why are we pretending like you don't already know what's going on?" Amelia snidely commented, wiping tears off her cheeks.

"I was just being polite," she shrugged. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the same countertop Owen had been at previously. "So why didn't you tell him?" When she didn't respond, the surgeon added, "Does he know how involved Ryan was before he relapsed?"

"No," Amelia sighed, staring out the nearest window, by the kitchen sink.

"Did he know about the marriage?" Amelia shook her head again. "The rehab, the pregnancy, the baby name, any of what happened after that?" A sad smile came to her face as she shook her head. She had really messed up this time around.

"Amelia Shepherd," Addison scolded, hands on hips now, "Why?!"

"He wouldn't understand the decisions I made and why I made them; he didn't even understand just now."