One Hope ∞ Nishimura Riki

Chapter 17 : a choice

"Can you like me the same as him?"

—

Ella POV

I was so confused to hear Jungwon talking like that. Talking to me like that. He seemed so confused himself, but at the same time so sincere. I didn't understand what he meant. Or rather, I prefered pretend not to understand. He was supposed to be Riki's friend, so why?

"Why do you want me to love you? Why do you want to feel loved by me Jungwon?" I said.

"Forget it"

I tried to understand him. I wanted to know what he was thinking but it was impossible.

—

In the evening, I had to wash my hair, and as usual he carried me in his arms and placed me on the edge of the shower.
I watched him as he carried me. He didn't look at me, he seemed so serious. His face was only inches from mine. His eyes were so beautiful. I had to accept that he was really taking care of me, and that I felt good with him. I felt less alone.

He laid a blanket over me and started to brush my hair.
I liked the way he took care of me . Even if I didn't understand why.

"Jungwon?"

"Yes."

"Thank you for helping me the way you do." He stopped brushing my hair. He lowered his head and looked at me straight in the eye.

"Don't worry, I don't mind."

—

At night, he was supposed to leave because the visits were already over, but with the nurse's permission he was allowed to stay from time to time.
When he stayed over, we watched TV, films and series. I waited until he fell asleep or left to turn off the TV.
And every day when I woke up he was there, next to me. And if he wasn't, he'd made me something to eat, always with a little message on the side. He brought me clothes I didn't even know where they came from.
He spent more and more time with me. He tried to make me laugh and smile. He took me wherever I wanted to go.

I spent my days with him.

—

This morning I was waiting for Jungwon, when the nurse arrived.

"How are you Ella?"

"I'm fine. I think I'll be able to go out soon, I feel much better."

"I hope so . Jungwon took such good care of you from the start."

"What do you mean , 'from the start' ?"

"When you were in coma. He came almost every day to take care of you. Several times I caught him brushing your hair or just looking at you and smiling. Sometimes he'd even hold your hand and play music. I had tell him you wouldn't be able to hear him, but he kept hoping you would. He told me it was so you wouldn't feel alone. He took care of you like no one else."

I widened my eyes. Was he that nice to me? I couldn't believe it. But what could have possessed him to be so kind to me ?

—

2 months went by and I was finally walking again.
I succeeded.
Jungwon was so happy to see me walking again.

"Jungwon! Look, I'm finally walking, I can even run. I'm not sure but I'm happy now." I walked up to him and , for some reason, I hugged him.
It took me a few minutes to realize what I had just done. He looked at me while smiling.

It was time to leave.
I took his arm and walked, holding on to him.
He took me home.

"Every day, I'll come to see if all goes well. Don't worry I'll never forget to come or to call you." he said.

Then he left me.

I felt rather sad to be home alone. I wanted someone to be with me. Jungwon? I didn't know.

Even though he giving me a good time, I kept thinking about Riki.

—

Today it was the first time back in class. I used a crutch so I could walk without having to depend on Jungwon.
I was really stressed.

I walked into the hallway without giving people a glance. But I could feel that they were looking at me.

They stared at me . And the groups of fools approached me, while a guy grabbed me . I dropped my crutch. He slammed me against the wall.

"Hey, you're finally back ! We were waiting for you."
They smiled at me. I was so scared.

They threw me against the floor and pelted me with blows.

No one could help me. No one would help me. Riki was gone.

"Riki is in Japan now. He left you! You thought you were going to live your life with him? That maybe he loved you ? He's just fucking with you. " a tear rolled down my cheek as I heard the words.

I wanted to see him. To see him appearing behind them and save me like he used to do.

No. He won't come.

I tried to save myself. Nothing.

I was so tired and my body was tired too, because of the sadness and the illness that blocked my body  from fighting.

I wanted to see him.

Please Riki come.

The bell rang, so they left me alone in the hallway, lying on the floor.

I wanted to go back home.

-

Everything was going wrong, as usual. I wasn't well .
Riki was everything for me . I had no one, no family, no friends , I only had Riki and now Jungwon.

Jungwon, I liked him so much, but I didn't know if he could replace him. I didn't think so.
I cried so much at the hospital when jungwon was not there. I spent my night crying, remembering my moments with Riki. I was looking at the photos I had in my phone. But Riki wasn't here, he didn't love me the way I loved him.

I looked at my ceiling, my eyes wet with tears.

"Jungwon. Should I try to love him?"

I'd better learn to love him, Riki's not coming back. And at least there's someone who appreciated me for what I was.

—