𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚂𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 #2: 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐃𝐄𝐍

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TAMMY:
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Otamayomi Ilori was dead.

That was a statement I wished could come true. It was the only statement that was capable of bringing a smile to my face, because I believed that if that were to come true, I wouldn't have to live too long without my twin brother.

It was two weeks into the holiday and days had never felt so hollow, so dreadfully painful.

It was also two weeks since I had spoken to my brother before everything had gone downhill.

I had cried for days, that I remember and my mother fell Ill. My father had to stay away from work to aid the both of us and his dampened mood.

On the days I couldn't cry, I trapped myself in my room, doing nothing more than staring into nothingness and reliving everything that had happened in the past two weeks. That was what I did today.

It was a bright and sunny afternoon but I had my heavy curtains block the sun rays from lightening my room and I had my room lights put off.

I sat on the floor, my back to the wall and another one of Ifeoluwa's baggy sweatshirt on me.

I didn't say anything, I didn't flinch or tilt my head. I sat on the floor, my gaze fixed on nothing in particular.

I couldn't frown, I couldn't moan, I couldn't cry because the pain I had felt amounted to a great extent, my heart couldn't handle it and it shut down. I couldn't feel any more. I was numb.

Then, came a knock at the door but I didn't turn to face that direction, I had no intention of exclaiming a 'come in'. I ignored it and pretended as though it never occured, and I retired to listen to the thoughts and voices in my head that kept trying to find different ways possible to deny the death of my brother.

"Otamayomi."

For the first time since I decided to remain in my room, I looked towards the door and saw my mum's face pocking through the door and looking at me with a sad smile. She looked just as torn as I felt and I could tell the exact moment she wanted to cry but she tried with all the strength in her to hide it, but she was failing miserably.

This was the first time I had set my eyes on my mum in the past two weeks. I hadn't seen her out of her room, until now.

She heaved a deep sigh as if trying to summon strength, and she walked into my room and knelt before me.

I looked into her droopy eyes and I felt a slow but fierce ache slowly consume my insides. I blinked and looked to the floor, trying to diminish and ignore that ache. I wanted to feel numb again. I wanted my heart to be impenetrable. I wanted to be blank.

I felt my mum's cold finger tips lift my chin but I refused to look at her, not when she was that way.

"Please come down to eat."

My gaze hardened on the floor and my stomach suddenly growled.

"I'm not hungry." I said, my voice sounding weak, muffled and croaky.

She sighed and spoke, her voice breaking. "I know this is hard for you, Otamayomi. Having to cope with loosing my only son isn't an easy task for me either."

The pain in my heart grew sharper and I met my mother's eyes, now heavy and glassy. I felt tears gather round my eyes and I looked back down.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and said to me. "I'm not asking you to suddenly try to move on, my dear. We'll get through this together, but for now, we will mourn his death."