Mute. L-H

After.

It's been a week since me and Luke kissed, we haven't spoken about it and the boys don't know as far as I'm concerned.

I don't know why we haven't talked about it, he apologised straight after which was weird. I thought he liked me.

Right now I'm laying in my bed alone, I have therapy in 5 mins and I'm meant to be getting ready.

I sighed before getting up again, I don't see Luke much anymore he's never here. was I a bad kisser or something?.

I looked at myself in the mirror I looked horrible. I done my makeup and brushed my hair making myself presentable. I pulled on my jeans and my black hoodie.

I looked at the time I was now 5 mins late but oh well. I shoved m phone an the room key into my pockets and walked out.

I made my way down to the therapy rooms where I would be asked question after question.

I finally got to the door and knocked lightly.

"Come in" a voice called.

I walked in and sat down on the leather chair opposite the woman smiling bright at me.

"Your a little late" she looked at me, I just sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

"I've noticed the past week you've gone back to your old ways, do you want to talk about what happened" she smiled at me. why would I talk, I don't talk.

I shook my head at her. I hated this it was boring, I felt my skin itching under my sleeves and realised I haven't had a blade run across my wrists in a while.

Note to self: find a blade

"You were happier a week ago, I don't understand unless you tell me what's wrong, I can't help" she sighed, obviously getting fed up with me now.

I shrugged my shoulders again.

"Aren't you even going to do your phone thingy?" She frowned, I just shook my head.

"Ok you might as well leave, it's about time up now" she said giving up on me like everyone else does.

I got up and walked out the door I got in the lift and went back up to my floor. I rushed across the hallway.

I walked until I was interrupted my something solid knocking me to the floor. I looked up slowly.

It was Michael.

"Taissa?" Michael frowned at me. he held out a hand to help me up.

I hesitantly took it and stood up.

"Are you ok, we haven't seen you for a while?" He asked. I just shrugged.

I studied the boys face, his hair was now a black colour making him more attractive that he was before.

"No ones at my room if you want to come back and talk" he looked at me, he looked like he genuinely cared.

I shook my head, I just wanted to be alone, I didn't realise bit I felt a tear roll down my face.

I quickly ran away from Michael and back to my room. I went to the kitchen and found the sharpest knife I could.

I pressed it down against my wrist and the blood slowly poured out of my arm, the feeling was amazing. I done it a few more times before swapping hands doing it again on the other side a smile stuck to my face.

"Taissa what the fuck"

I jumped and turned to see Luke staring at me. he rushed over and took the knife out my hand.

"What are you doing" he yelled I rolled my eyes like it's not obvious.

"If they see that you've done this you'll be in isolation" he shook his head.

He grabbed the first aid box out the cupboard and started to clean the fresh cuts. he wrapped bandages around them gently.

Why are you helping me?

I typed into my phone.

"Why wouldn't i?" Luke frowned.

Well after this kiss you just stopped talking to me, your never here, I never see you anymore.

I typed not looking up to him I didn't want to see his reaction. I slowly made my face look to his, I could feel tears stinging my eyes.

"Did- did you do this because of me?" He frowned.

I didn't say anything, I couldn't tears started streaming down my face. I pushed past Luke and went to the bed room.

"Taissa, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just thought it was awkward after the kiss so I didn't want to talk, I thought you didn't like it, and that you would hate me, fuck I'm so sorry" he rambled on at me.

I just sat on my bed silently crying.

Just leave me alone

I typed into my phone before laying on my bed facing the opposite way to Luke.

"I'm sorry" I heard him say before his footsteps faded away. I heard the main door shut and started crying harder, all I wanted to do was cuddle him, but now I've pushed him away, what's is I even tell him to leave, I've changed my mind, I want him to come back in.

I need to decide what I want before it's too late, I like him a lot, I know I do, but sometimes I don't know. it would be weird.

I decided that I should talk to someone that knows Luke well.

Ashton.

To Ashy
Hey, um can you come to my room alone please, I need to talk to you

Ashy
Sure

Five minuets later e knocked on my door. he smiled at me as he walked in, we sat down on the sofa.

"So what's up?" He looked to me

It's about Luke.

I looked up to him.

"Ok go ahead" he smiled at me.

I don't know what I want, I don't know if I want to stay friend or if I want more, he kissed me the other week and I mean I liked it but I'm not sure, what should I do?

I looked up to ashton.

"I you like him, go for it, if it don't work out you can just stay friends, simple"he shrugged

Ashton you know it never works it being friends after

I pulled my lips into a thin line thinking.

"I'll talk to him ok, you decide, but at the end of this hell probably ask you out ok" he looked at me raising his eyebrows.

I nodded San he got up as left leaving me alone. I turned on the TV and decided to watch Netflix.