Mha fluff/angst oneshots

🥀 miczawa 🥀

TW!!! CHECK THE DESCRIPTION FOR THE POSSIBLE TRIGGERS THAT COULD OCCUR IN THIS CHAPTER! I DONT WANNA SPOIL!

Third person:

Aizawa sat at his desk, staring at his students documents. He knew he should be in bed, as soon as mic finished his podcast, he'd berate him for staying, yet again. But he just couldn't sleep. His mind ran a million miles a minute. So he needed to distract himself. He couldn't bother his husband, he's done it plenty of times, he could handle this on his own.

He reviewed the essays written by his students. It was mental health week. Throughout it all, he had a hard time keeping himself together. Talking and discussing the very topics he silently struggled with triggered him beyond anything else. He hasn't had urges since he's married Mic, but oh god does he miss it. He wishes he could go back to how he was as a teenager, sitting in the bathroom quietly as he tore up his own skin. He deserved it. After- no he couldn't think about that. Distract himself. Mic would never forgive him if he knew what he was thinking about. So he focused on the essay. It was by Mineta, he so greatly despised even the thought of what could be written on the paper, but proceeded anyways. It's his job.

Mental health is all about perspective. People often get down in the dumbs over worthless matters, simply because their mind isn't strong enough to handle it.

Wrong. Why is he saying this?

If people are sad, they just need to get over it. Studies show that if you just pretend you're happy, you'll start to believe it. Mind over matter.

What? Is that true? Am I just being weak? What studies? Did he cite anything?

In my opinion, I believe that people use mental health as an excuse to gloat about their emotions, draw attention to themselves. For example, Midoryia claims he has and anxiety disorder. If he simply just stopped worrying about trivial things, than he would be find. If he just got over it, and weren't so weak in his head-

Aizawa couldn't even finish before he slammed his fist on the table. How could he talk so negatively about his own classmate, or anyone who struggles with mental health for that matter?! Was he right? If Aizawa could just stop thinking about it, would he be better? How could he stop. He watched it happen in front of his eyes. His best friend. Dying on a mission. Right there. His empty, soulless eyes.

Aizawa felt his chest heaving, tears threading to escape. No. He needed to be strong. Mineta was right, he just needed to get over it. He just needed to stop thinking. His wrists itched with the urge to relapse. He knew he shouldn't. But oh god, it would help. It would clear his mind. He could stop thinking about it. He could- he needed it. One cut should be fine, right? Just one! Mic probably wouldn't even notice! It's just one.

Aizawa quietly made his way to the kitchen. Mic wouldn't be home from the studio for another twenty minutes. He had time. He looked at the knife block and sighed. Was he really about to do this? Ruin all his progress? Why was he even doing this? Why couldn't he just be strong enough to resist it? Why couldn't he be strong enough to not think about it?

He took the paring knife from the block and stared at the silver blade. It shined slightly from the light in the kitchen as Aizawa rolled up his sleeve. Several white, some purple and keloid, scars filled his arm and he sighed. It's been two years. Was he really going to fuck it all up because he's too weak to face the facts that he was just letting this happen? Too weak to realize that it's his fault he feels this way?

He placed the sharp edge of the knife against his arm and trembled. Just one, he promised to himself. Just one. He swiped. His teeth clenched at the searing hot pain in his arm as blood slowly trickled out. His eyes widened as chills ran down his spine, all the sudden every nagging thought in his head dissipating. He forgot how amazing this felt.