TW: Self harm
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Who... am I?
Who... am I?
Who.
What.
Why am I like this.
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What am I doing?
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Owen grabbed at his hair.
"GO AWAY!"
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He felt himself slide down the wall to the extremely uncomfortably warm floor.
"I'M. NOT. YOU!"
Bang. Bang. Bang.
The sound of a skull meeting stone. It occurred to Owen he had heard that sound before. When he had...
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"FAILURE! DISGRACE! I FAILED THEM ALL!" He shrieked, tears streaming down his face.
Who?
M̶̮͎̱̖͈̓y̶̼̳͑͌̃͋́̑̓̿ ̵̧̺͇̽͒̄̓̀̌̋f̷̨̞̣̫̯̠̋̌̇̕ṟ̴͒͝e̴̜̭̘̲̟͎͌͠co̷̤͈̞͓̖͇̍̅͒͘ủ̶̠̱̈͘n̵̩͚̰̖͍̘̅͜ẗ̴͖̬́̓̈́̊r̸̳̟͕͓͉͝y̷̧̝̻̮̽͂̚i̵̧̫̩̓̑̽̈́ṋ̷̙̣̟̬̪̬̝͆̋̅̔́̓͝d̶͕̙̱̺̯̻̉̉s̵͔̱̗̝̘̐͋͊́̆͠
"I HATE YO-"
Silence.
ME.
The side of his head felt strangely cold. His hand moved almost automatically to see what was wrong. His fingers, by some strange force, turned a crimson red when he touched it.
Oh.
Blood.
The wall was covered in it, but strangely, Owen felt fine. He had been through worse.
I've. I've been through worse.
Why won't you admit we're the same person?
We're not.
You know what. You're right. I wouldn't kill them.
I wouldn't befreind them.
Owen thought he heard someone coming down the ladder, but didn't move. It was in hearing that noise he finally noticed he was now lying sideways in fetal position on the floor.
Blood pooled around him. It felt natural. Disgusting.
Right.
Wrong.
Who was he?
Now there was the definite sound of someone climbing down the ladder, but something else, too.
Someone was yelling...
Or maybe laughing.
Owen couldn't tell. The blood continued to roll down his face, and he was more torn than ever. Maze Owen existed. He had to.
If he didn't...
I befriended those...
He didn't finish his thought.
Say it.
You know what they are.
You never had a problem with it before. Say. It.
...those demons
You know that's not what you were going to say.
"OWEN!"
Someone far away called out his name. Which name, though? Did the person mean the soldier or the maze runner?
Mentally they were so different. They couldn't agree on anything. They had different ideals. Different beliefs.
Owen's heart pounded in his ears.
Which ears?
The cell door had opened. He could escape now. He could leave again. Leave and be free.
Who could?
Someone had fallen to the ground next to him..?
Were they okay?
Were they real?
Next to who..?
Owen opened his eyes. He didn't remember closing them. He didn't know they were closed.
"A-"
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He choked on his words. He wasn't supposed to say that word to himself.
Why?
He couldn't remember.
The word was his friend. No.
No. No. No. No.
It was his enemy.
Why?
He couldn't remember.
Say it.
Say it...
The voices had demanded it years ago. Demanded to say the word.
Why?
He couldn't remember.
Oh.
His mouth was bleeding?
He didn't cut it though.
Oh.
He had hurt it earlier.
Why?
He couldn't remember.
He noticed a face in front of him and smiled.
"Hi~" Owen gurgled through the blood. The face frowned, and turned away. It yelled something off to the right.
Right.
Demons weren't right.
Why?
He couldn-
He didn't know.
He noticed the face again.
It didn't have horns. It should have horns. It didn't have horns.
He couldn't remember.
Why?
No.
No.
It was supposed to be the other way around.
But no.
He couldn't remember. Whycouldn’theremember?
"I guess I thought maybe I could get some peace. From the yelling at me for what I did, from the constant emotional abuse, from the reminders I lied to everyone I cared about.. from the fact that I lost everyone I cared about."
Owen had said that. It was true, that's what he wanted when he hurt himself.
He opened his eyes a third time. The face.
"Apo," he whispered.
"Apo, Apo. Apple... Apo."
He got ever so slightly louder every word.
He hadn't said those words. Apo had. Apo the disgusting demon. Apo who pulled the lever. Apo his freind. Apo whom he killed.
YOU ARE READING
They realize - Outsders SMP - Reunion Arc - Completed
FanfictionCover art mine!!! <3 (please do not repost without credit) What if Red had found Apo, saving his life, and they went back to the clearing together and exposed Owen, but then Apo, upon being betrayed by his best freind, confronted Owen in prison...
