"I think I can.." "what?" "I think I can love you."
in which friends since middle school takes their friendship into adulthood. but they also take their bond to be a more stronger one but one person is a bit hesitant to start something new.
It's been about a week since the whole lee know situation and the kiss. during this whole week I've been thinking about what minho said.
I feel like crying but there's nothing coming out. and obviously me and minho haven't been talking, I mean even being in the same room is awkward now. none of the boys have asked about it but they obviously know something happened to make us so quiet and distant from each other.
I'm in my room listening to music while looking outside the window since it's been raining lately. I suddenly hear a knock at my door faintly I take out my headphones and say "come in" when the door opens I can see chan. "hey" he says going to sit next to me "hey" I say smiling a bit. "how are you feeling?" chan asks "um.. honestly not that fine... been thinking about.. him you know" I say "yea, can I ask what happened between the two of you? I mean that's kinda been a mystery for a little while for us." he says.
"well that day my ex showed up and he was the one who opened the door then leo then lied saying we started talking and then when I went into min's room we were arguing about leo being here and he was saying how we have these moments between us and that's kinda when he kissed me and he pulled away and asked if I could forget that the kiss happened..." I say
"oh gosh I'm really sorry" chan says side hugging me "yea.. it's ok" it fell quiet for a minute before chan spoke up again "honestly you don't have to take the advice but I think you going to talk to him is a good idea. gives you the opportunity to tell him how you feel and it gives you both time to come up for air." he says hugging me again "everything's gonna be okay I'm sure of it." he says before leaving.
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later on in the day I went out and got ice cream for the members and me and as I get home I see minho in the kitchen and I feel my body tense up a bit and my stomach in a knot once he finally notices me he stops and looks at me. "um hi" I say looking down "hey um.. do you need help with those? I mean I can put-" he's about to say but I cut him off "oh no no it's fine don't worry I'll just put these in the freezer" I smile at him then walk to the fridge and it's nothing but crickets.
I begin walking back to my room but I feel like I have the urge to say something so I turn around and just said it "I really.. liked you, you know." I say I get in my room before minho could say anything and never really left my room after that. "so you just told him like that?" jisung asks after I told him what happened with me and minho in the kitchen "I mean I felt the sudden urge to just say it so I did. does he mention anything to you about me? at all?" I ask "well no minho is well.. minho he's quiet and doesn't really open up unless he wants to." jisung says "well true" I say drinking my coffee continuing to walk with ji at the park nearby.
that night I went out to the mountain me and minho went that one morning to watch the sunset when I get the to the top I just sit down looking at the stars and the city then all of a sudden a feeling of sadness washes over my body, remembering all the memories with minho but then a familiar voice comes from behind me "figured I'd find you here" it's minho. "what are you doing here?" I ask standing up from my spot "look we need to talk" he says
"about what? I'm gonna try my best to not yell but you hurt me so much min I can't even explain it just standing here hurts me because your right here and I couldn't have been more lonely even with you and the boys. when you told me to forget the kiss happened I was so confused because I thought you liked me-" I say "I do, I do like you!" he says "then why did you say that min?" I ask with tears in my eye threatening to fall down. "I was scared." minho admits "scared of what?" I ask "afraid of becoming more than friends, afraid of not being good enough and not being able to give you the best of the things.. I mean I'm just scared." he says.
"I'm not good with these types of stuff I don't know how to make someone else happy and to commit to someone and I was just scared in the moment." he says "you are kinda bad at these stuff" I say laughing a bit which makes him laugh "but now I think I can." he says more seriously making me confused for a second "what?" I say "I think I can love you." he says.
my mind couldn't even process those words. I've had a crush on minho for as long as I can remember but I just pushed it aside and ignored it, now here we are with him practically telling me he loves me. before any of us could say anything else I smash my lips in his which he immediately responds to. the kiss was so much more full of love than our first. after we part we look in each other's eyes and smile "I missed you" I say "me too your about the only person who puts up with me" he says "well sure." I say.
"do you wanna watch the moon?" I ask "of course love." he says. after a while sitting down and looking at the moon and stars I broke the comforting silence "so does this mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend?" I ask turning to him "if you want it to be" he says smiling "I do." I say "well then ok, whatever you want beautiful" he says kissing my head and putting his hand across my shoulder.
the rest of the night we sat there staring at the moon and the stars.
"the moon is beautiful isn't it?"
"yea.. it is."
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tysm for reading 💗💗 I feel like this chapter isn't as good but it's ok i'll get better eventually. love you tons <3
