Just The Two Of Us

23. Not Enough

Unbearable. Unbearable is the word you would use for how you are feeling right now. All of these emotions coming in all at once, to then go numb the second after bawling all the tears you had. You had not left your house in two weeks and did not plan on leaving until "after New Year's" is what you were telling your mother anytime she sought the opportunity to drag you out of your room. Mikey has also been trying to get you to get back to your routine, and to make your mom and Mikey somewhat satisfied with an effort to do something rather than wallow in bed, you continued to write. Writing nonstop.  Who would've thought getting your heart ultimately broken and shattered could be used to make something - 

"So fucking beautiful." Walter's Assistant Kiki said as they were looking between you and their computer reading the work you've submitted. "You just keep getting better. This is good, it will most likely pull the on the heart-strings and people love that shit. There is potential with this, it's great but it's quite not fully ready. We want a book -"

You were taken aback by the fact that other than the people in your circle love what you write. Regarding writing a book, you were not sure how to feel, what to say, what to think, the pressure was on, and if you wanted to secure your spot as an intern for this company you were going to have to work harder than you ever have before.  "A book? You guys want a book? I don't understand... First, it was a couple of pages but now it's a whole book?" You sat back in the chair crossing your legs one over the other looking out the window with the city view. 

Kiki giggled a little bit while typing away at their computer.  "Mhm."

The universe works in mysterious ways, you didn't think you would be here a all. It was Christmas Eve, and it was the only day Kiki would've had time to squeeze you in for a brief impromptu meeting. After you were told about not making it into the top three for Lighthouse Bridges Books Co. You took the advice of a friend and a mentor and fought for what you wanted. You sent an email asking for a meeting with Mr. Bridges, however the meeting would need to be with his assistant before you can have a sit down with him. You poured your heart out on paper and you were glad at how transparent that was. Having to write a whole book seemed a little extreme for someone who wasn't even in the top three. You're just here to fight for what you want, although the idea of writing an entire book does intimidate you, you were willing to do what it takes no matter what. 

"By when does this book need to be done?" You asked hoping you had enough time. 

Kiki leaned forward on their desk " By January 30th. Congrats on making the top three, it's a Christmas miracle!  You've got your work cut out for you. Don't fuck this up. I will be checking in every so often to see what the progress is like, make comments, and all that good stuff. Any questions or concerns? - Actually, there shouldn't be any concerns. Any questions?"

'What the fuck?!' is what was running through your head. TOP FUCKING THREE? How? You couldn't understand, you weren't sure if you should be feeling excited or scared. You want this, but now that it's becoming reality it almost seems too good to be true. Would it be wrong to question the good things that happen to you because of all the bad you've experienced? Was there a chance this could happen to you? You weren't sure about what was to come in the future, or where you would end up, but you knew deep down in you, that your biggest regret would be not taking this opportunity to try to get to where you want to be. Where you deserve to be. 

"Can I ask how I made it to the top three?"

Kiki was putting their belongings together. "Not important. What is important is that book you should already be working on. Whatever your standard is on what qualifies as a "book" get it done, we want to see you through your work. Make this happen girly. I've got a meeting I need to head to with Mr. Bridges real soon, therefore I must leave right now. Would love to stay and chat but do you mind?" Kiki opened the door for you to exit.