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sakto talaga 'tong kanta ng Ben&Ben kay Kaleb at Hans ↑

Hans

I looked at the sea in front of me and I felt the emptiness inside me. For people, looking at sea will give them peace and contentment, but for me, I always feel alone and empty when I look at it. It's so spacious and lonely for me. The sound of the waves gives me the feeling of listening to a sad song I can greatly relate.

But funny that our house is located near the ocean. Like how it is funny that the man who gave me a wonderful life, is now the one who's making everything worst for me.

I am hurt, the pain I am feeling right now is not even comparable to the pain I felt when my own mother didn't want me. This is worst, and I didn't expect to feel this because of Kaleb.

I know he also just wants to be with me, but I know that being with each other will only put him in danger. And I am also tired of all the lies he needs to do for his dreams, for politics that I didn't want to be involved with in the first place.

I know I am being selfish if I leave him, but is it also being selfish if I want to save myself from all the pain that is changing me? I didn't want to leave him so I decided to be part of the lies he's living with, I was the other man, I was a mistress, I was hidden when he says he loves me the most, yes I was loved but I was also insulted by everything.

Everytime he kisses me, I wonder if what his fiance will feel. Pakiramdam ko ay napaka tarantado ko na tinanggap ko ang sitwasyon kahit na may masaktan na ibang tao. All of the complicated things that I accepted to be with Kaleb because he told me he needs me, I accepted it wholeheartedly, but it was also the reason why I am hurting so much. Because I have to accept everything despite being hurt, being insulted- tiniis ko lahat dahil umaasa akong kami pa rin sa huli.

Pero hindi na lang naman ako at siya ang nakataya sa relasyon na ito. His father was shot as a warning. Oceanna will know about our relationship one way or another, and the people will also do.

Natawa ako sa sarili sa mga iniisip na bagay kaya ako sumusuko.

Alam ko sa sarili ko na ang totoong dahilan kaya ko siya iiwan ay hindi ko na kaya. I can't do this anymore. I was not raised by my loving parents to be treated this way, to be in this situation and held everything in. I was sick of it and Kaleb didn't even noticed or doesn't even want to address it. I am done. I am completely done.

"Pumpkin," Napalingon ako sa nakatayong lalaki sa gilid ko. I looked at him and I felt nothing but pity for myself and for him. Our situation will not get any better if I stay by his side.

Lumapit siya saakin at nakita ko kung paano nalulungkot at naguguluhan ang mukha niya. Umupo siya sa tabi ko at nagsalita.

"You're not answering to my calls. I'm sorry I was busy and couldn't reach you for two days. Nabalitaan mo naman na nabaril si papa, right? I was hands on with everything for his safety and mine, and yours too. The investigation is still o-" I cut him off.

"Why are you here, Kaleb? It's dangerous." Sabi ko at iniwas sakanya ang tingin ko. Tumingin ako sa pangpang at sa papalubog na araw.

"I missed you, wala ka sa kubo at sa bahay niyo at nakita kita rito. What are you doing here, babe?" He asked and put his head on my shoulder. Napalunok ako at sinagot siya.

"Just thinking about the things that will release me from all the pain I am feeling." Sagot ko at naramdaman kong natigilan siya. Hindi siya nagsalita nang ilang segundo bago itinaas ang ulo para tumingin saakin.

"Pumpkin, are you exhausted by our situation?" Tanong niya. Tumitig ako sa namumungay niyang mga mata na halata ang lungkot. I looked at his handsome face and I reached my hands for his soft cheeks. Hinawakan ko siya sa pisnge at agad naman siyang pumikit para damahin iyon.

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