Mío

Cuarenta y cinco

Hans

“Calm down, he's going to be fine.” Kuya Oasis said while I was pacing inside my room. Naghihintay kami ngayon ng tawag ni Kaleb o Peterson. It's already 1 am at dapat ay kanina pa natapos ang raid pero wala pa rin tumatawag.

I'm getting worried about Kaleb. Alam kong malaking bagay ito sakaniya. The blackmarket was the sole reason why every obstacle was thrown at us and he had to shoulder all of it.

“How can I calm down, kuya? My boyfriend is out there risking his life, kakabalikan lang namin. I don't want anything to happen to him. Dapat kasi ay hindi na siya sumama 'e.” Sagot ko sakaniya habang pinagpapawisan sa nerbyos. Alam ko naman na gustong sumama ni Kaleb dahil gusto niyang makasigurado na matapos na ang lahat ng ito. But still, I can't help but be worried about him.

“I agree, pati tuloy si Peterson ay dinadamay niya. I'm sure the special force and the police can handle it.” Sabi niya at naiinis lamang akong umupo sa harap niya.

“You should call him.” I said but he shook his head.

“Peterson said that their will be the one to call and we should just wait.” Sabi niya. Nakagat ko naman ang kuku sa kamay ko at napatitig sakaniya.

“I hope they're fine.” Nag-aalala kong ani. Tumango naman siya at lumapit saakin. He sat beside me and put his arm around my shoulder to comfort me.

“Everything will be fine, Hans. After all, both of you made sure this operation will be a success.” He assured me and I deeply sighed before nodding. Sumandal ako sa balikat niya at muling nagsalita.

“Kuya, I know this is random but, do you think after this, everything will be back to normal with me and Kaleb?” Tanong ko at natahimik naman siya nang ilang segundo bago sumagot.

“What happened to the both of you won't be easy to forget, Hans. It won't be easy for the both of you to just go back to how it used to be before, pwedeng magkaroon ng sumbatan, ungkatan ng mga bagay na hinayaan mangyari na sa tingin mo ay unfair para sayo, para sakanya, but just remember that all of that happened because the both of you wanted it to work out. It won't be easy, but it will work.” Mahaba. niyang sabi at napatitig naman ako sa seryoso niyang mukha na sa kawalan nakatingin. Napangiti ako nang tumingin siya saakin nang nagtatanong.

“What?” He asked and I smiled widely.

“It's my first time hearing you so matured and serious. I can't help but find it funny.” Asar ko sakaniya bago ko inilabas ang pinipigilan kong tawa. Napairap naman siya at asar na ginulo ang buhok ko.

“Loko. I'm serious, with your situation right now. I want you to always remember that you love Kaleb, and he also loves you so much. Remember to be patient with him, you've been thru a lot, but so does he. Pinasan niya ang problemang itinapon sakanya ng ama niya, as a son, especially Kaleb 'coz he's an only child, that's so heavy.” Mabigat niyang ani at ramdam ko ang simpatya sa boses niya. Muli akong napatitig sakaniya and I swallowed the lump in my throat.

He's right. Kaleb did it all alone. I left him.

“Kuya, nahahawaan ka na talaga ni Peterson sa mga words of wisdom niya.” Malungkot kong sabi bago muling napasandal sa balikat niya.

“Shut up. Tell that manager of yours to stop treating me like a toddler that needs his attention so much. He's really getting on my nerves, you know.” Pakiusap niya at maikli akong natawa bago malalim na bumuntong hininga.

“I regret it now, kuya.” Ani ko habang pinipigilan ang sariling maiyak. He looked at me with his questioning eyes. “Leaving Kaleb. Choosing my own sanity when he's also going thru something. I regret it now. I've said it a lot of times that I won't change what I did before, that I was right choosing myself over the situation that he put me in. But right now, thinking about it, I feel so sad for Kaleb being alone.” Tuluyang tumulo ang ilang butil ng luha sa mga mata ko nang matapos kong sabihin iyon.