Coffee, Maybe? Love, Maybe.

025 | CMLM

JANELLA

Pabalik na kami ni Zev ng coffee shop ngayon. He's driving while I'm beside him, admiring the view from outside. Tahimik ngayon. Walang nagsasalita. Maybe the awkwardness transpired when he posted that photo of mine on his public Twitter account. Paano ba naman kasi, bungad sa akin noong buksan ko ang app ko. Bonus pa na magkaharap kami noong mangyari 'yon.

"You saw it, right?" I finally heard him say something so I slowly turned my head to look at his direction. "The post I deleted."

I cleared my throat before nodding. "Yeah, I did."

"And you don't have any reaction?" tanong niya ulit, panaka-nakang tingin sa akin.

"Ano bang dapat kong maging reaction? I mean, dinelete mo rin naman agad so what's the point?"

Zev sighed. "Makes sense. But I took a photo of you, Janella, and you didn't know. Aren't you bothered?"

"Baliw?" I exclaimed, brows now meeting. "Hindi ka naman stalker o serial killer so bakit ako mabobother? Baka nga view lang sa rooftop kanina 'yong habol mo kaya kumuha ka ng picture eh."

Alam ko ang ibig niyang sabihin. Hindi naman negative na reaction galing sa akin ang inexpect niya eh. He thought I'd be shaken up especially with the caption that he posted along with the photo, and well, ayon naman talaga ang naramdaman ko kanina. Ayoko lang aminin sa kaniya.

"You're..." I noticed his grip on the steering wheel tighten, like he's trying to control his emotions. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? You're frustrating me."

Nagtaas ako ng kilay na parang nag-iisip ng sagot bago ayusin ang pagkakaupo ko. I also fixed myself since may salamin naman ang kotse niya. Tiniis ko na kahit umaalog nang bahagya.

"Wala akong ginagawa sa'yo. Sinasabi ko lang kung ano 'yong naisip ko. Siguro naman sapat nang reaction 'yon?" saad ko nang hindi siya tinitignan.

From my peripheral vision, I saw his jaw tighten. Woah. I guess he's more frustrated than I thought he was. Ngayon ko lang naman siya nakitang ganiyan ang itsura.

"Fine, let's not talk about this," he said with finality and continued driving.

True enough, hindi na ulit siya nagsalita hanggang sa makarating kami sa coffee shop. Pero noong bababa na dapat ako, siya na ang nauna at pinagbuksan pa ako ng pinto kaya nagpasalamat na lang ako at pumasok na rin sa loob.

Vigo and the rest acknowledged my presence by waving and smiling at me since may iilang customers dito ngayon. Dumeretso ako sa pwesto ko at noong matapos si Vigo mag-assist doon sa isang estudyante, agad din itong lumapit sa'kin.

"Zia! Glad that you're back!" he greeted, still with his beaming face. Parang hindi ata nawawala ang ngiti nito sa labi eh. "Kumusta 'yong experience?"

I shrugged. "Maayos naman. As you said, it's one of the best experiences a coffee shop worker could have. I had fun there. Kaso nakakaguilty na hindi na ako nakatulong dito sa inyo."

"Hindi mo naman sinasadya 'yon. Saka work din 'yong pinuntahan mo so don't bother overthinking."

Ngumiti ako. The door opened and we saw Zev at the entrance. Linapitan nito si Blair para siguro itanong kung nakarating 'yong delivery ng coffee beans kanina. Mukang okay naman kaya dumeretso na rin si Zev sa office niya. Nakita niya kami ni Vigo pero hindi kagaya kaninang umaga, wala na siyang sinabi at nagkulong na lang sa loob.

"May nangyari ba sa lakad niyo? Parang hindi okay si sir Weston?" tanong ni Vigo noong mapansin din ang matamlay na itsura ni Zev.

"Wala 'yon. Baka napagod lang sa pagddrive. Work na tayo? Ano bang pwede kong maitulong?"

Nasense naman ni Vigo na "wala akong alam" kaya inassign niya na lang ako sa trabaho na pwede kong gawin. Marami pa naman akong maitutulong kasi mamayang 9 PM pa magsasara ang coffee shop kaya makakabawi pa ako sa kanila. Buti na lang magiging busy ako kasi ayoko ring isipin pa nang isipin si Zev at ang sitwasyon naming dalawa.

As much as possible, I really want to avoid risking it all. At least, not now.