jeffmads

Chapter 16

pov. Thomas Jefferson

        I loved the roses,I loved my Jemmy,I loved my life,yet I was worried.Why did Jemmy leave, he looked nervous,he could have just left to get me roses but he probably got or did something else.Jemmy wasn't the person to go anywhere with out me, unless he was trying to hide something from me.He was pretty nervous lately and was worrying about almost everything. I scolded myself for even thinking that Jemmy would be disloyal to me.I knew that Jemmy would never leave me...right.it had been nearly a year now that we had been dating and in about a week we would be married.we fought but we almost always made up after the fight and kept pushing forward.

        "hey um Jemmy where did you go" I said hoping to ease my nerves."In town" he responded sipping his coffee."yeah but where were you exactly" I questioned again."don't worry about it"he muttered his tone sounded a bit angry.I tensed looking into his eyes,I knew that sentence far to well,he looked nervous.I felt sick as I uttered out the last question I ever thought would cross my lips again"babe are you-"Jemmy cut me off "Look I know I'm nervous but I would never cheat on you, I can't believe you would even think that."He looked hurt, pain in his eyes. I looked at him realizing what I had just said.We both paused looking at each other but Jemmy avoided my eyes."babe I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that." he looked at me again " I just" I paused remembering my memories.I had been cheated on in almost every relationship I had and I had hid it from Jemmy for so long,I knew it was no excuse for what I said and, he would leave me for this but he needed to know.

        "you just what" said Jemmy trying to hide his pain with anger." I just...I've been cheated on so much and-well now I worry when ever someone leaves,that they'll cheat too,that they don't actually love me..." James looked up at me."I know it's bad, I know I look like you don't trust you, I do trust you,you're just so worried and I thought you might not be happy with me."I sighed getting up I felt the urge to cry but it was to late,I knew he didn't want to be with me anymore. "Tommy don't go"he said looking at me."I still do love you,and yes I am worried, but you aren't the problem, I always worry before something big is about to happen, I can promise you that I am not cheating on you.can you trust me."I paused looking into his eyes he still loved me and wanted to be with me."yes, I can trust you...I will trust you." 

        I felt tears begin to pool in my eyes.I hugged him crying.I felt so bad,he still loved me after I accused him of not loving me." I'm so sorry" I sobbed."hey it's okay" jemmy said patting me on the back."No, It's not" I replied I was beginning to choke on my tears."I LOVE YOU "I was practically gasping for air at this point."Tommy calm down" Jemmy said hugging me.I couldn't calm down, I loved this man so much and he loved me,I kept sobbing uncontrollably."TOMMY"I stopped the loudness of his voice." Tommy I love you too,as I won't forget this immediately, I will forgive you.but now you have to forgive yourself we will both make mistakes in our marriage,I'm sorry if I worry you at times but I will never stop loving you, ever."

        I tried to say something,I tried to say sorry again,but I couldn't speak.I just stood there looking at him before I hugged him lifting him off the ground a little.no words were said in that hug.The hug said everything.I cried a little during it but other than that it was silent.after the hug we both looked at each other and continued on with our day. a bit hurt but still okay.