"Bailey" Richard walked into her office. She was pacing and pulling on her fingers. For some reason Ben and his son were a huge trigger for her. Her anxiety was being managed. She thought. So why does she feel like her chest is about to explode? Why was Ben back? Well she knew why but it didn't make sense why his presence effecting her like this. She knew when she liked him he made her go stupid. She forgot what she wanted to say and would say what she didn't mean to say. But this was pure fear. Why did his presence make her afraid. And his son. He has a son. A little him. The world had enough room for another Benjamin Warren. And he is just like his father. She thought to the way the young teen winked at her and his smile.
"Hey deep breaths" Richard held her in his arms
"Ben has a 13 year old son" She looked at Richard
"Ben" He looked at her confused
"Benjamin Warren" She nodded. "He has a 13 year old. Benjamin Danny Warren"
"How do you know. You ran out of the lecture I was worried about you" He rubbed her shoulder
"They are here. He had an allergic reaction"
"Is that why he cut his lecture short" Richard asked
"Seeing him just triggered a whole lot of emotions" She calmed herself down "and his son is just like him"
"Okay well just sit here and calm down"Richard sat her down on the couch
"I don't know why this is happening" She sighed
"It's okay Miranda" Richard comforted her
When she finally felt calm they both stood up
"You make a pretty good work husband" She laughed
"What's it that Grey and Yang used to say. You're my person" He smiled
They walked out of the office. As Miranda walked around the hospital she noticed Ben and Jackson talking in the lab. She stood back and stared at them
"Hello" Jamin walked up behind her
"Young man what are you doing" She slightly jumped
"Heading back from the bathroom" he smiled
"I mean what are you doing sneaking up on me"
"You a mom" he asked "you're very motherly"
"Alright Jamin ready" Ben walked out and froze when he saw Miranda "uh I'll be back tomorrow to compare notes with Dr.Avery"
Ben wasn't sure if he was talking to his son or Miranda.
"Cool" Jamin nodded half ignoring his dad "Dr.Bailey what do you do"
"I'm a general surgeon and chief of surgery" She smiled at Jamin
Ben just stared at her. He would be lying if he said he was surprised she was chief. She's Richard's protege. Of course she's chief.
"Wow. Dad that's slightly cooler than head of plastics" He chuckled " while they are discussing skin and organs in a lab. Can I shadow you and see what the chief does"
"Jamin I'm sure Dr.Bailey has better things to do than have you being her shadow. And after today I don't know if I can let you out of my sight" Ben cleared his throat
"If you would like to be my intern for the day young man. That would be fine with me. Besides Dr. Avery will have Dr. Warren's attention for quite some time" She ignored Ben trying to speak for her. He left for LA without as much as a goodbye. He does not get to speak for her. She had to find out from Webber he was gone. "And I can assure you my day is tree nut free"
"Awesome" He smiled "Did you hear that dad Chief's intern"
"Yeah it's fun being intern now. Wait till you find out what scut is" Ben teased his son
"You're just jealous. You're stuck in a lab while I'm with the beautiful chief of surgery" Jamin smiled
"Hey. Watch it" Ben pointed at his son
Right words. Wrong Ben. Miranda thought to herself. Wait. She wanted Ben Warren. Her Ben. Not little Ben. To call her beautiful. Wait. He wasn't her Ben. He hasn't been her Ben in 15 years. She almost forgot there was a Ben sized hole in her life until this very moment. Looking at him now she realizes she really messed up. And another woman did what she was too foolish to do. Marry him and start a family.
Thinking back to the glue and tape speech she gave him. Something Eli said to her rang in her ears. In a relationship you lean on each other when things go bad. The shooting was the worst day of her life and she felt overwhelmed. Ben wasn't there at the shooting but he could've been there for her. She pushed him away. And then got hurt when he left. She played herself.
Ben looked at Miranda. His son wasn't wrong. She is very beautiful. He wondered if she would be up for dinner. He couldn't ask her could he? No that would be weird
"See you tomorrow Dr. Bailey" Jamin smiled
"See you tomorrow Future Dr. Warren" She returned the smile
"See you tomorrow Dr. Bailey" Ben finally spoke directly to her. Fire rose up in her throat. She felt her face get flush. She wasn't sure why. He said her name just a while ago and it didn't matter to her. But he was now addressing her.
"See you tomorrow Dr. Warren" She cleared her throat
He nodded and walked away with his son. Jamin had gotten all the confirmation he needed. She was the reason his dad left Seattle. Obviously there was something between them and by the looks they give each other it's unresolved.
"Benjamin what has gotten into you" Ben asked once they got in the car.
"What do you mean" He feigned innocence
"In there. Flirting with doctors is new for you"
"I wasn't" He shrugged
"Then what's going on. You saw Miranda and all a sudden tried to be some Casanova"
"Miranda" Jamin raised an eyebrow. Noting the way his father said her name.
"Jamin what did your mother tell you" Ben looked at his son. Jamin just looked at his father unsure if he should say anything about the conversation he had with his mother. Ben sighed and thought about a conversation he had with his ex
Ben had walked home to see his wife sitting on the floor going through his old boxes
"What are you doing" He asked
"Who is she" She looked at him
"Who is who" He asked
"The woman you're obviously still in love with"
"I'm in love with you" He wrapped his arms around her and rested his hands on her baby bump
"You may love me but you are in love with someone else. You have been since we met. I tried to ignore it even when you called me Miranda in fucking bed Ben I ignored it. But I can't bring a child into a world with a man in love with someone else"
"Im not in love with someone else. I'm in love with you" He held her close and comforted her
"Jamin" Ben stared at his son
"There's someone you love in Seattle" Jamin stared at his father"I think I know who"
Ben ignored his son's statement and they just rode in silence.
YOU ARE READING
Holding On For Dear Life
Fanfiction"Now that I got you, I'm holding on for dear life" You ever met that one person that you loved so much you felt you had to hold onto them forever? Well Ben Warren has.
