Holding On For Dear Life

15

As Miranda closed the door Ben felt the air thicken around them. He felt crushed. The overwhelming feeling of guilt finally hit him. He wasn't expecting it but he sat on her couch and cried. He felt guilty about not fighting for Miranda 15 years ago. He felt guilty about marrying his wife while being in love with Miranda. He felt guilty about wearing his ring and snatching his hand away. He felt guilty he was running back to L.A. He felt guilty about breaking Jamin's heart. His son induced an allergic reaction in himself. Ben just wept and felt his guilt.

"Ben" Miranda's sweet voice broke the thick feeling in the room. "Those big sad eyes" She placed her hand on his face

"I did this" He wiped away his tears

"No, you didn't" She rubbed his back

"I told him I wasn't staying in Seattle. He saw that you had been crying and he knew I screwed up. It's what I do. I screwed it up with his mom and he saw me screwing it up again with you"

"You're not staying in Seattle" She looked at him

"I am scared. I love you. My son loves you. What if it crashes down again. What if something serious happens again and you decide we are too much"

"My favorite resident was hit by a bus after telling me he was going to war, I lived through a shooting, people I care about were in a horrible plane crash and some died, I have a mental illness, people I care about keep almost dying or have died. This hospital really doesn't have a good track record. I had a heart attack. My life flashed before my eyes. Life is too fragile and I don't want to miss any opportunities. Ben I pushed you away before. I messed up. I had a thing with a nurse that really meant nothing to me when I could've been with you making memories. So I understand being afraid about what comes next"

"Wow this hospital really is cursed. Maybe you should consider leaving" He chuckled

"You are not a funny man" She hadn't realized she was crying and until she felt the tears hit her hand
Ben stared at her and slowly took the ring off his finger and placed it in her hands.
"I am not in love with my ex-wife. I was unfortunately never in love with her. Because she is not you. I wore that ring because I thought it was the only thing protecting me from the hurt I felt when you left me. I told myself that ring showed that I was okay without you. But there's no need for it. I have you in my arms now. It doesn't matter"

"I'm sorry" She sighed

"Me too" He held her in his arms. He squeezed her and she squeezed him both of them hugging like their lives depended on the hug. Ben threw caution to the wind and brought his lips to hers. It was a fiery passionate kiss.They both pulled away and rested their heads against each other.

"Let's go back and check on Jay-man" She smiled looking at the ring in her hand

"What you gonna do with it" He asked her

"Think I'll hold on to it. To remind me"

"Of what" He looked at her

"You standing in the hotel hallway in your boxers" She laughed and walked out of the office.

They walked back to Jamin's bedside holding hands. Jamin smiled seeing them.

"You fixed it" He smirked

"You try some bull like this again and you don't have to worry about the nuts taking you out. I will personally" Ben held a fist up to his son

"Your ring is off" He smiled ignoring his dad's threat

"Yeah, I don't need it" He tried to play it off nonchalantly

"Now that this is serious Ben. I believe we need to give you the talk" Joey put his hand on Ben's shoulder "Cause see we love Doc and we're the most important men in her life right now"

"Now who's overprotective" Tuck laughed

"All I'm going to say is this. You screw up and you're going to need a plastic surgeon" Joey gave him a hard pat on the back and sat down

"Is he serious" Ben whispered to Miranda. She didn't answer him but rather just gave him a look that he interpreted as a yes. Once Jamin was discharged they all went to Miranda's for dinner.

"I been meaning to ask Ben. Ya'll didn't.... ya know on this counter" Joey asked as he was helping Miranda cook

"Joey" She hit him

"What I came in and clothes were on the floor" He shrugged

"No worse than what Jamin asked me" Ben chuckled

"J what did you ask" Tuck looked at him

"If they used protection" He shrugged

"You asked your dad that" Joey looked at him "Like just straight up"

"Then proceeded to say oh wait we're probably past that age" Ben nodded

"I see you both have a very open relationship" Tuck nodded "Interesting. Well brother mom doesn't get down like that. We are the sons and she is the mom and that is how it works"

"Noted. Don't talk all loose around Chief B"

"You allowed your son to talk to you like that" Miranda looked at Ben

"When I gave my son the talk I emphasized the importance. So he just wanted to check his dad practices what he preaches" Ben smirked "You told your boys the same right"

"I didn't raise that one" She pointed to Joey " But that one knows better" She pointed to Tuck

"Do you have a girlfriend Tuck" Jamin looked at him

"I do" He nodded

"Joey" Jamin looked at him

"I do not" Joey laughed " Do you"

"If I love the few. Who will love the many" He smirked

"Boy please" Ben laughed

Miranda listened to them laughing amongst each other. This is exactly how her life was supposed to be. Her and Ben were supposed to be married. He was supposed to help her raise Tuck. Maybe they would've had a kid of their own. But then another thought crossed her mind. Everything happens for a reason. Jamin would have never been born. Ben might wouldn't have his successful plastics career. Who knows how different their lives would've been? She smiled in satisfaction. She had some regrets but all in all she was happy this is how things turned out. She took Ben's ring out of her pocket. She stared at it as he came over and wrapped his arms around her

"Thinking about me in my underwear" He whispered in her ear the close contact making her gasp

"I'm going to ignore that comment but I do love being in your arms" She smiled

"Get used to it because now that I got you, I'm holding on for dear life" He spun her around and kissed her much to the dismay of the boys sitting there

"And ya'll want me to think they didn't do anything on this counter" Joey cringed