Depressed

two

Hailey woke up to hear her alarm clock. But this time, it wasn't as loud as before. It was....hazy.

"Oh......" Hailey groaned and clutched her head as she sat up on her....bed? What happened last night?

Then she remembered. She remembered how she came home late from the gym, how her father slapped her cheek, punched her eye, and pushed her into her bookcase. She couldn't remember anything else, so she assumed she had fainted.

As she started to get out of bed, her headache became worse. "Unh...." She groaned as tears pricked her eyes and bile rose up her throat. She swallowed it, but it wouldn't stay down. As she felt it come past her throat, she rushed to the restroom and threw up all she had in her stomach in the toilet. After flushing it, she looked at herself on the bathroom mirror, and wasn't shocked. Her cheek was bruised and so was her right eye and nose. The bruise was an ugly color, part blue, purple, and black. She lifted up her shirt to see her old bruises and scars. She turned around, and saw a new bruise hugging the ribs on her back. She carefully caressed them and winced. It must've happened when she crashed into the bookcase.

The pain in her head was still intense, so she hobbled downstairs to take some Advil. As she was nearing the kitchen, she heard the yelling of her father's voice.

And by the sound of it, he was calling someone.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE OUT OF STOCK? I NEED THEM!" He yelled into the phone.

He probably ran out of Budweisers's, she thought.

His voice lowered a bit. "Oh, well sorry that I'm so demanding over online socks...." He waited a beat. "Hey, at least I fucking care!" And he slammed the phone on the countertop. "Damn these stupid online order services," he grumbled under his breath as he walked out the kitchen, right smack into me. I stumbled back, but caught my footing. He smiled at me. "Ya learned ya lesson yet?"

I gulped and nodded. "Yes, sir."

He smiled coldly at me. "Good."

Then he leaned in my face, his breath smelling like mint. "And I meant every word last night."

He walked away and I dared not roll my eyes or move. I remembered what happened when I rolled my eyes last time. That added a new scar and bruise to my back. Instead, I thought to myself, Bastard.

I walked inside the kitchen and went to the pantry, grabbing the bag of Cocoa Pebbles. I shook some in my bowl and grabbed the carton of milk from my fridge. I drowned the little brown chocolatey flakes with the white whole milk, making the milk instantly turn brown. By the big spoonfuls, I finished the whole bowl and went to go brush my teeth. And surprisingly, my headache was gone.

-

"What is x if two x plus twenty-five equals five x plus three?"

Hailey worked furiously on the equation, hoping Mr. Herein wouldn't call on her. She loved math, but hated attention.

And of course, Mr. Herein knew how much she hated attention, but he was proud of her amazing math skills.

"Hailey, I see you working very hard. Do you know the answer?"

Hailey shook her head. Mr. Herein shook his head and gave her a look that said "I-don't-believe-that-crap". "Come on, Hailey," he coaxed. "I know you have the answer. I can see it from here. So tell us the answer, Hailey....?"

She sighed. She hated attention, it made her feel queasy when people stated at her. "Uh..... X is....."

Now she had everyone's attention. She swallowed and continued, "X is ten point six repeated."

Mr. Herein smiled. "See, Hailey, I knew you could do it. You just gotta have a little more self confidence, that's all."

Hailey nodded, but was thankful that the moment had passed. And she hoped he never picked her again.

Math, also known as Calculus, was easy for her, but hard for her classmates. The only friend that she had only took three periods with her, first period, which was social studies/history, fourth period, which was science/chemistry, and her final period (sixth period) which was P.E.

Also counting lunch.

West High was not a welcoming school. There were fights, kissing, and yelling everywhere you went.

As the bell rang for fourth period, Hailey gathered her stuff, and decided that she would stop working ahead of others. So teachers wouldn't pick her.

-

Hailey plopped her cardboard tray down on one of the many rows of green cafeteria tables. Most of them were full, but luckily, she found an empty one. Her tray consisted of an apple, moldy pizza, and a carton of strawberry milk. A few minutes later, her friend Sarah, sat down right next to her.

"Hey Hailey. How are you?" Sarah's face was full of concern. Hailey shrugged and turned away, "Ya know...the same as usual."

Sarah studied Hailey. "You mean, same as usual as your dad hitting you?"

Hailey nodded and swallowed, imagining when her father physically raped her on her sixteenth birthday....

Sarah gave Hailey a comforting smile. "Don't worry," she said. "He'll get his punishment. When you find someone to take care of you, you can report him for abuse and you'll be free of that bastard."

Hailey sipped her strawberry milk carton and nodded. But she knew nothing like that could ever come true.

Before she knew it, lunch was over. She barely finished her pizza. As she stood up to throw her trash away, she took a big bite from her apple. Sarah looked at Hailey and said, "Do you wanna go to McD tomorrow? I never really eat school food," Sarah smirked. Hailey cracked a small grin and said, "Sure."

As they both walked together to their fourth period, Hailey didn't feel so lonely anymore. But she knew one thing, from the whole year. High school is a bitch.

-

"Bye Hailey! You should text me!" Sarah yelled as they parted ways. Sarah walked to her car and Hailey walked to the gym everyday.

"Bye Sarah. I'll text you, I promise," Hailey said faintly. Sarah smiled and waved as she disappeared beyond the large parking lot.

Hailey continued her regular stride towards the gym, and was looking at the ground, avoiding the cracks. Suddenly, she bumped into something, with such force that she actually fell on her back. She winced as her bruises landed on the hard cement and tears blurred her vision.

"Hey," said a voice. "Are you okay?"

Hailey blinked the tears away and looked up.

Hailey's mouth fell wide open.

"He" was wearing a black muscle tee, with jeans and white Jordan's. His brown hair was ruffled and messed up, but in a cute way. His brown eyes studied her.

"Uh.... I think you fell pretty bad. Lemme help you up," he said and put out his hand. Hailey grabbed it and stood up, embarrassed for checking him out.

"Thanks," she blushed and started walking to the direction of the gym. Just three more blocks..., she thought. She felt a prescience behind her and quickly turned around. He was still following her. "You're not gonna get anywhere with that pace," he smirked. "Need a ride?"

*

a.n - i'm imagining the dude as jack gilinsky. wby? idk about the girl yet but up top is a pick of jaack 😍 . happy reading !

- s.j gomes