The Self Its Self

6. Dispute ䷅

 The phone rang a couple of times then the ring was silenced with any answer. I expected to hear my partner's voice, but my own voice rattled through the phone. My voice did not give me anytime to talk or the video to come on. It lunged directly into accusations. "I did not know what game this is? Or how you got through the do not disturb blocker? Actually, I do not care about those answers. It does not matter who you are. We do not want any!"The hang up button was about to be pressed, but the eyes in the screen saw themselves on the screen. I knew the confusion that was rushing over the face on the screen because it was mine, too. I looked into the screen and saw my face starting to be transformed by confusion. I felt the same feeling start to rush over me, so I tried to explain the situation in hopes to short circuit the natural response in the two of us. I successfully ferried myself through the explanation of the teleporter, the accident, and the after effects. Using the face reflected from the screen as a star, I plotted and navigated my story from start to finish. Each time the face moved my face moved and I instantly understood. I knew every rock and how to avoid them, except for the first. I did not watch myself. I could have finished the debate, before it even began. If I would have framed the situation better, I would have won. I should have let the face on the screen drowning in confusion.

After the explanation, my other self placed a finger in the unanswered question. "This is something else. You are not a clone, twin, replica, double ... If I get what you are... No, sorry. I misspoke. I was listening, it just takes a little time to appreciate what this means. Let me try to run though this. I am me. You are not you, but you are me. So, I am you. However, we are not we. Simply put we are me, but without we. All this leads to a question, since I should be me and I should be me, too, how can I be double?" The reply was simple, "I cannot. A double door is always two doors together, but the two on this phone are not like that. My foot could be removed and stood somewhere else, but I am not there. I am always here and I must be in only one place. Accordingly, I am singular. I am guessing that this is one of those rare times that law follows logic and would state I am one with a body over there."The words were finished with a sigh, because it was obvious the feeling of mutual empathy was quickly going to be lost. With that, the debate topic was set and the dispute could begin.

"Now that the dilemma is understood, it is time to figure out who is the foot and who is me." I started to pause, but I realized that something important needed to be added. The next sentence needed to be a claim, because if it is in my hand then, at least in the most primordial sense of the word, it is mine. I thought this, then the face on the screen thought this. Despite the thought, it was too late because by custom I had the right-away, I was speaking, so I added the claim. "I will contend that I am the rightful legal representative. I have a very good reason for claiming this. I am not just claiming this because of a subjective feeling. Obviously, these bodies are structurally the same. As for their matter itself, who knows who got the matter from before the teleporter accident. Even if this company said what they did with the matter, which they won't because of trade secrets, what does it matter? Is there any difference between carbon molecules of the same type? No, they are indistinguishable. They are incapable of having a memory-like structure. You cannot scratch one carbon molecule, like you can cut a cue ball and say that one is mine due to the scratch. They are interchangeable, if they are not then they are a different type. So, let's not even talk about the physical. The reason I am the rightful legal representative is quite down to Earth. I am surrounded by my life. I have never been to Hesperus. However, I have stood in a queue at the coffee shop down on the corner innumerable times. My work is ten miles from here and my house is seven miles. All the memories in these heads are here, not on Hesperus . These feet are firmly on Earth, while those feet are in the sky. I am with my life" With that I felt like I could pause.

As soon as my vocal cords stopped vibrating in my throat, my ears started to ring from the sound of my voice from the screen. "What you said is true. There is no way to wash that away. However, something was omitted. In fact, without it one gets a distorted view of people, even if that speech was all true. People are not just their customs. We are not just our past and habits. We are our future, too. Before the teleporter experience, I wanted to go see another world. I wanted to leave the Earth and put my head in the sky. And guess what I did it. People are their goals and dreams, which makes the dreamer the rightful representative."Towards the end, my voice turned more and more joyous. For a moment I felt the joy as mine because it was carried by my voice, but it did not last. "At best, this argument only gets us back to the beginning. From this perspective, yes. From another prescriptive no. It is a wash. This conclusion will not do. There needs to be a definitive answer."

I looked at my eyes on the screen and my eyes on the screen looked back at me. The two faces tied together by causality stayed unmoving, because it seemed logic failed to knock down the giant problem with deep roots. Suddenly the mirroring broke, the feeling of an uncomfortable truth darkened my eyes, while my eyes on the screen lit up with the same truth. I pressed the truth down. I knew I could not say it, so I did not allow it to take words. I also knew I had two throats, so it was going to be formed. For that second, I hoped the person on the screen was not as heartless as me. There was a brief hesitation from the screen because of the basic desire to not do harm to one's self. However, this feeling was quickly repressed by the logic of the greater good. My voice from the screen started to communicate the message that was already known. "Let's go back to the beginning. There was an error in how the conversation was framed. In a philosophical discussion, I agree that the actual, the physical would not matter because like a good shed, it would have controlled those factors. However, this discussion is taking place outside, where these factors are not controlled. This discussion is not philosophical, this is about a real problem with a uniqueness that quietly changes the problem. My body here and the one on Earth are different. The one on Earth will soon be shed like a dead leaf from a tree. Therefore, very soon, this conversation will be like that leaf too, just a vague memory of a crunching sound. The question will quickly dissolve itself."The words were correct. I left my silence in place to affirm the conclusion.

My voice pressed on, "It would be absurd to say, one second I am on Earth, then suddenly I am on Hesperus, just because my Earthly body was shed. Shedding one's body is not a form of transportation." There was a pause for a counterpoint that did not exist in the wordless void in my head. The lifeless response invited the press to continue, "Given the absurdity of this, there is only one logically sound conclusion that I am the legal representative." I still had nothing to add, except for the affirmation of silence, so the voice slid on. The face on the screen must have misunderstood the face I was making. The other me was like Zhuangzi's owl with its carcass fearing the phoenix that only ate fruit from a single tree. Their world had a carcass, thus everyone else's world lacked the carcass. The other me pressed on to protect the carcass, "Look. I will take care of the family. I promise that. In fact, as soon as this day is forgotten, there will be no difference between life before or after the teleporter. So, relax, everything is going to be fine." With that the owl shoved the carcass whole in its mouth.