𝔽𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕘, 𝔽𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕟 (𝕂𝕒𝕞 𝕂𝕠𝕥𝕝𝕔)

«42» im fine

WHATS THIS???

...

Another update ?

Yea so imma start updating more frequently again. Hehe

praise me ☺️

(actually don't there's a little angst in this chapter✨✨✨)

Tam
One 'quick medical pampering'—as Elwin referred to it as— later, Tam was apparently finally ready to rest for the night, and leave as of tomorrow morning. After stammering an awkward goodbye to Magnate Leto, he had returned to the healing center. Now, he was back in his designated bed, listening to Elwin ramble as he packed up to leave for the night.

"—and promise me that if you have trouble sleeping, you'll take a mild sedative. I left a vial for you on the table. And if there is the chance that you need any painkillers—"

"I know, Elwin. Head home. Im fine," Tam insisted, very aware of the sedative and painkillers as Elwin had already mentioned it to him about three times already. Tam would have been lying to himself if he said that he didn't want Elwin to leave. He just needed some alone time, to process some things on his mind.

Elwin's eyebrows pinched together worriedly as he looked at Tam, before he finally nodded. He grabbed his green cape that had been draped over his office chair, and pinned it around his neck. He placed his clipboard on his desk and a few stray vials of medicine back on the shelves. "...Alright. I'll be back in the morning, probably before you even wake up."

With a reassuring nod from Tam, Elwin flicked the lights off, leaving through the healing center double doors. Tam sighed as he was engulfed in the chilled darkness, finally alone for the first time after having woken up from his coma. He waited for a few quiet moments, just to be sure that Elwin had left the Foxfire campus entirely.

Tam's mind wondered to Keefe, as it always did when he was simply thinking absentmindedly. He thought about whether it was normal, thinking about a person this much. And whether it was normal to miss a person, only after seeing them a few hours ago.

Finally sure that the doctor had left completely, Tam swivelled out of bed, padding over to Elwin's desk. Surely Elwin would keep a spare key in his desk drawers; maybe one that wouldn't unlock anything important like Magnate Leto's office, but something general like the library. Tam felt guilty taking from the Doctor after all he had done for him these past few days, but Tam just needed to go somewhere. Since it was the middle of the night, this was the only way to do it.

Tam encountered a silver key hidden at the bottom of Elwin's desk drawers, and tucked it safely into his pocket. Then, he stalked towards the door, exiting the healing centre and into Foxfire's maze of hallways. It was somewhat eery, being all alone in Foxfire during the night when usually the school was filled with the faces of smiling prodigies. The hallways would usually echo with light and laughter and chatter, but now there was only deserted and silent darkness.

As he strolled aimlessly through the halls, Tam thought.

He couldn't believe how much his life has changed in such a short amount of time, in that he had recently just almost died and he was now dating Keefe Sencen. If Tam was being honest, it overwhelmed him. A lot. Drastic change isn't something he was used too, and certainly isn't something he was very good with coping with.

He was happy, genuinely happy. Really, he was. But also always worried about everything, now. About prom. About Keefe. About how he will tell his friends about his relationship with Keefe. About what they will think. About himself. About Linh. And then some more about Keefe.

Tam had so much anxiety, and he had no idea how to cope with it. He remembered how Keefe had cut himself. Afraid of that possibly ever happening again, Tam couldn't tell Keefe what he was feeling. That was how Keefe had chosen to cope with things, and even if he had promised not to anymore, Tam still didn't trust that enough.

Reaching the Foxfire library, Tam pulled out the silver key from his pant pocket and pushed it into the lock. It fit. Unlocking the door, he entered, pulling is shut behind him. Tam wondered over to the end of a bookshelf aisle, slumping down against the cold wood.

He couldn't tell Linh about this either, he had concluded. If Tam told her his worries about dating someone of the same gender and all the judgement that would come from that, what if Linh started worrying about those things too? Tam couldn't do that to his sister, not when she was so incredibly cheery now that she was with Marella.

Tam sighed, feeling slightly hopeless. He wrapped his arms around himself, a glassy tear streaming down the pale skin of his cheek. Tam knew that if he kept thinking about it, the more he would cry. But he couldn't stop thinking about it, so the tears just kept coming.

He buried his face in his hands as it happened, so maybe he could save himself from hearing his own sobs. Tam didn't want to love a boy, but he loved Keefe. He didn't want to go to prom, but he wanted to be with Keefe. He didn't want this world to be like this, but it was. He didn't want to be like this, but he was.

Tam grew tired as time slipped away. He didn't know how long he had been in the library, sat on the floor, upset and alone. But what Tam did know as that he did not have the energy to lift himself back up again, and carry himself back to the healing centre. Not with this heavy feeling of ache and helplessness that had attached itself to Tam's heart, weighing him down.

And so, as time slipped away, so did Tam's consciousness. He drifted into a sleep, induced by his sorrows and the nonexistent care of about how this would effect him in the morning.