Just Friends

[ 3 ].

Ghost was given an independent assignment. Initially, you were under the impression that your entire squad, yourself included, would be accompanying him. You had grown accustomed to working as a team and the idea of a solo mission was unfamiliar. However, it soon became apparent that Price had a different plan in mind for you. To your surprise, he left you with the responsibility of overseeing and training the new recruits.

This task was a thorn in your side. The young, inexperienced soldiers were like newborn chicks, naïve and full of misplaced confidence. Their audacious belief that you had to earn their respect felt like a slap in the face that left a bitter taste in your mouth. However, you quickly put an end to that mindset. You demonstrated your skills, experience, and the fact that you were not one to be trifled with. This proved to be an effective approach, as it ensured smooth sailing for the remainder of the week, following a somewhat rocky first day. 

Despite the fact that Ghost wasn't physically present, he was a constant presence in your mind, an unshakeable echo that replayed over and over again. The memory of your last interaction with him played like a movie in your mind, and you chastised yourself for not seizing the moment when you had the chance. You should have been more daring, more assertive, more courageous. Perhaps if you had mustered up the courage to break through your own inhibitions, you would have had an answer to the question that haunted you: were you and he meant to be more than just friends?

As time passed, the seeds of doubt started to sprout in your mind, infesting your thoughts and making you question your own feelings. What if you were making misguided assumptions? What if you were setting your hopes too high, only to be disappointed? What if he didn't share the same feelings, the same interest in you? The more you thought about it, the more convinced you were that he didn't. After all, he had ignored all the indications, all the signs you thought were glaringly obvious. You believed that your attraction towards him was so apparent that anyone could notice it. In your quest for another explanation, another reason as to why he continued to overlook you, you could find only one - your attraction was one-sided.

All this relentless overthinking, this mental gymnastics, was not a soothing balm to your mind. It was more of a poison, seeping into your thoughts and spreading doubts like an insidious weed. You found yourself spiraling into a pit of self-doubt and self-criticism. And in this self-created darkness, you painted an image of yourself through Ghost's eyes, a mere shadow, a friend, and nothing more.

In the solitude of the hideaway that you and Ghost had once shared, you found yourself attempting to light a cigarette. It was a task that Ghost had always done for you, making it a struggle now as the wild winds of the outdoors persistently extinguished the tiny, flickering flame. A sigh escaped your lips as frustration grew. 

You didn't want to give up your new bad habit just because you felt you needed to give up Ghost.

Your addiction to nicotine had developed in a strikingly similar way to your attachment to Ghost: quick, seamless, and completely blind to its occurrence until you were in too deep.

"Do you need a hand?" Behind you, a voice asked.

At the sound, you dropped your arms, leaving the unlit cigarette hanging from your lips. Spinning around on your heels, you were met with the sight of one of the new recruits. He stood there, hands tucked casually in his pockets and a friendly smile on his face. His name seemed to be just out of memory's reach, but you distinctly remembered his disciplined behaviour and his adherence to your commands.

There was also no denying his attractiveness. The man in front of you wasn't Ghost, but there was a certain air of confidence about him that made your interest pique. Tall, lean and muscular, with disheveled black hair that gave him a roguish charm, and eyes that shone with a bright intensity.

In response to his raised brows, an echo of his question hung in the air between you, like a note waiting for its key. You found yourself nodding, causing a flicker of satisfaction to cross his face as he smiled. As if drawn by a magnetic pull, he took a step forward, erasing the already minimal distance separating the two of you. 

From his pocket, he retrieved a cigarette and a small brass lighter. With a swift flick of his thumb, the lighter sparked into life, dancing in the slight breeze before being used to ignite his cigarette. He then held it between the firm grip of his lips, the end glowing red and orange. As you observed him, a sense of curiosity stirred within you, your eyes following his every move. He seemed to sense this, as he moved even closer, his body leaning in towards yours. The air between you filled with a smoky haze as he reached the end of his cigarette towards yours, lighting it with the burning ember of his own.

Unlike when you were with Ghost, where you had always shied away from direct eye contact, an unexplained boldness surged within you when you met eyes with the recruit. From up close, you noticed a small detail about him that you hadn't seen before; a lip ring that subtly reflected the surrounding light.

You stood still, only a breath away from him, for a few more heartbeats, each second stretching into an eternity. It wasn't until he finally broke the proximity, taking a step back, that you were released from the trance. The sudden rush of air filled your lungs, and you became aware of the thunderous pounding of your heart. It hammered loud and fast, like the thunderous beating of a war drum, threatening to leap out of your chest.

The swirling smoke and the familiar scent brought back a rush of memories. Everything about this situation reminded you so much of Ghost. His presence seemed to be lingering in the air, making you feel a pang of guilt for standing there with someone else who wasn't him. Yet, there was a stark contrast between Ghost and this recruit, a difference as distinct as day and night.

Unlike Ghost, who kept you at arm's length, the guy in front of you took the initiative to strike up a conversation, trying to coax words out of you, making witty remarks that occasionally caught you off guard. He wasn't merely filling the silence; if your instincts served you right, he was flirting. The situation was new and different, but not necessarily unpleasant.

"You should really consider joining us," he suggested, his voice filled with anticipation, right after he had elaborately outlined his plans of visiting the local bar along with a few of his friends this weekend.

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline," you replied, shaking your head and offering a warm, apologetic smile. You couldn't shake off the suspicion that this was his subtle yet unmistakable attempt to ask you out on a date.

"Oh, come on. Don't be like that. I won't take a no for an answer." He grinned back at you, the corners of his eyes crinkling in amusement. He drew in a long, last puff of his cigarette before casually tossing it to the ground and stamping it out lazily with the tip of his leather boot. "I'll be expecting you at the bar on Saturday. In exchange for your effort to show up, I promise to buy you your favourite drink. Maybe two, if you ask nicely."

Before you could even gather your words, let alone a counter-argument, the charming yet persistent recruit waved his hand in a casual farewell and sauntered off. You were left to finish your smoking session alone, your gaze lingering on his retreating figure as it gradually disappeared into the distance.

You were well aware that this was a bad idea, a suggestion that, under normal circumstances, you would dismiss as swiftly as a feather is carried off by the wind. But you were also losing your mind. Ghost, true to his nature, was persisting in his obstinacy, and you came to the stark realization that if you wished to maintain your friendship with him, you needed to evict him from the recesses of your thoughts—you needed to get over him. And what could possibly be a better antidote than to allow yourself a night out, indulge in a few drinks, let loose, and engage in light-hearted banter with someone who showers you with attention?

It dawned on you that this is what you yearned for. You attempted to convince yourself that it would be just an evening brimming with amusement, an intoxicating mix of consuming sweet cocktails, swaying to the rhythm of the music, and perhaps even a sprinkle of harmless flirtation.

You were planning on doing precisely that, right?

Nothing more, nothing less. Just that.