Blue

01

she froze

what was she to say, to do?

he said it

the words 

why did he have to say them?

she was afraid he might say them

but she never would've guessed he would so soon

it seemed 3 was the magical number

three words

three months

why couldn't he have waited

she couldn't say it back

she didn't feel the same way

what was she to do?

her breath quickened

as he waited

it felt like an eternity

but it had been only three seconds in reality

but three was the magical number 

and she was dying dying dying 

how could she respond?

"I... 

I don't know what to say"

she was hyperventilating

why why why

how could he know

so fast

she didn't understand

and the more she thought

the more her world came crashing in on her

because while he was all in

she was debating leaving

but now

he trapped her 

in a cage of expectation

and to break free was to shatter his heart

and more than anything

she wanted him to be happy

and she didn't want to break his heart

besides

the cage was comfortable

she could stay in it a while

but she couldn't grow much if she stayed

she might shrivel up some if she didn't leave

but maybe she was okay with that for the time being

but the longer she waited

the smaller the cage would become

and the more she became trapped

the more the expectation would grow

what was she to do

should she stay

or should she go

the debate was endless

he made her happy

but he wasn't that good for her

he made her smile

but he would hold her back

he made her feel safe

but she was truly trapped

he was so much like her

but he wouldn't allow her to grow and to change

she was forever in a tailspin 

"you don't have to say it back" 

he said

she nodded

and said nothing

hoping he would not say it again

nor ask her to

it was such a big thing

and her head was spinning

and her heart was pounding

what to do

what to do

what to do

three months

three words 

three seconds

and her world came crashing in around her

i love you