Blue

08

she really wanted to drink

she really really wanted to

but she was fighting it

because she was underage

because it was wrong

because she was against it

she couldn't count how many times 

that she had talked about 

how stupid it was.

but there she was 

tempted to drink

tempted to get drunk

to see what it was like

to forget the loneliness..

but there was no one to drink with

and it made her all the more lonely...

she felt so alone

everyone was leaving

leaving

leaving..

she hadn't seen her soul sister,

Rosie, 

in four years 

because she lived states away

and her best friend,

Gracie, 

just left her for a new life

in a state far away.

her close friend,

Ashley,

was leaving too

even if she wasn't sure how to feel about that one

because even though she loved Ash,

Ash always started drama

and always put other friends before her.

not only that

but her sister was leaving for college,

leaving her with her parents...

the ones that threw her feelings in her face

the ones that thought she wasn't good enough...

the ones that thought her grades were more important

God forbid she mess up sometimes...

she really wanted that drink

but drinking was wrong

and she was fighting herself

and she could feel herself losing

wanting that drink

curious and hurt and upset and alone

all at the same time..

she had already given in to cursing sometimes

which she never usually did

but she felt so alone

alone

alone

alone

alone

alone

and tired

tired of fake people