𝒘𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔. | chaennie

painkillers

Everyone has bad days.

Those who are restless, can't seem to figure out their own thoughts to the point that it can control them, no matter how much it won't go away.

Time has set to midnight, the sun no longer shining its light and instead the moon does. However, it seems as though as if this one particular night won't go as easily as it seems.

Rain even has started pouring, it starts so lightly then begins to become heavier, heavier as in what Rosé's poor heart was feeling.

She stares at the other silhouette, one who pops up a bottle of painkillers and takes one or two into her mouth and swallows heavily. Slouching on the edge of the bed, she throws the rest of the pills on the nightstand before her hand slapped against her forehead as she tries to get rid of all the headaches and pain.

Jennie's job has suddenly become harder over the weeks.

It was easier at first, of course no job was easy but hers was manageable. That was until she started to slouch over a pile of files on a dirty desk in a building filled with grumpy and tired people whom she can't call her friends since all of them are suffering as much as she is.

Yet she hasn't taken notice of her own behavior. Late nights filled up with headaches and back pain instead of resting with her wife who waits for her all night just so she could hear her breathing peacefully, but it has yet to come over the weeks.

Rosé took notice of the behavior as well, of course she has. The dejected feeling started once her loved one started coming home past midnight. On some days she doesn't even find her next to her on their bed. Sometimes on the couch and sometimes not at all.

She saw how Jennie started to eat less, busy looking at her phone scrolling through tons of text messages or emails during dinner where they're supposed to have their daily talks about their days, but then again...

And what really hurt was how Jennie reacts to every bit of thing. When she's yelling on her phone or grumbling whatever as she does paperwork in the living room. But it's only when she lashes her anger out on Rosé, pouring out all of her frustrations.

She doesn't blame her though. She too sometimes does that to Jennie, it's normal and they always apologize to each other and love on each other, but Jennie's mind is way too occupied to even say a simple sorry, and that was what hurt Rosé the most.

She knows that Jennie loves her still, even in her darkest moments. She can never question their love for each other. It's just hard to bottle up the slight hinge of pain in her heart when Jennie rolls her eyes at her or screams at her for the smallest things nowadays.

So when she slowly walked up to the bed and sat next to her and gently lays her hand on Jennie's back, rubbing it so ever softly, it made Jennie flinched.

Flinched, shocked, whatever you can call it but that little moment made Rosé hurt just a bit more. She doesn't show it though, biting the inside of her cheek.

She was about to say something before someone beat her to it. "I really don't have the time to talk right now." Her tone flat, no emotion in it whatsoever, it honestly scares Rosé a bit to see how her behavior changed in the course of a few weeks.

"We don't have to talk. We can just stay like this if you want." Rosé smiled softly. Trying to get rid of the sadness that's building up in her.

"Yeah, if I want to give more pain into my back." Jennie rolls her eyes. "Gee thanks, great idea."

She loses her smile as she hears the harsh feedback. But tonight was going to be different. No more trying to ignore the hurt or sleeping alone in a bed, filled with thoughts and tears. She stood up from the bed and faced her.

"You know what? I have enough of this attitude of yours. No matter how hard I try to help you relax or calm down because I know your days have been harder but you have no right to be angry with me!" She breathes out what she has been holding in all this time.

"Well look how it turned out? Do you see me relaxed?!" Jennie yells once more. "I don't need your fucking help!"

Rosé immediately took a step forward. Since she is a bit taller than Jennie, she towers over her, slightly intimidating the other.

"I'm not your mother, Jennie. I'm your damn wife for Gods sake! I don't need to be telling you what you should do and not do! I just want you to know that I'm trying to help you!"

"Fuck off." Jennie bumps her shoulder as she storms out the bedroom, immediately following her she felt her wrist being grabbed.

"Don't act like this. You know how many times I've told you that you can always quit your job? You tell me how much you hate it yet you're still here?" She frowned.

"You think it's that easy? Out of all people I thought you knew how much it's hard!"

"Don't put this on me!" Rosé's grip loosened on her wrist that gave Jennie the chance to pull out and walk away down the hallway. She took her jacket and her keys before heading straight to the door.

"Jennie I swear to God if you leave!"

"But I am! I don't have time to listen to this!" Jennie yells again, redness starting to form on her face by how angry she is.

"Jennie wait." She calms down, noticing that both of them are getting too heated.

Before she can say another word, Jennie opens the door, not looking back. "I'm staying at Jisoo and Lisa's house tonight. Don't bother calling."

Then the door slams. Jennie didn't even take the chance to see that Rosé's tears have already fallen. Trailing down her cheeks, she slides down the door with her arms covering her depressed face.

She just wish that this was all a nightmare and that when she wakes up, she'll wake up beside her wife. But this is no nightmare, it's reality. She just misses the smile she used to see.