December 10th
Jisung stayed at my place
I feel so sorry for him
He literally died last night
I am so worried
He doesn't look good
I don't want him to feel bad
Not my baby
...
Day by day I think I really need to leave him
I can't give him hope
I don't know...
I want to see his smile
I want to hear his laugh
I want to make him feel safe and... Loved
I want to love him...
Why can't I?
Why I need to die?
Why can't I love and be loved?
'Jisung, you really need to stay in bed.''Okay, okay, I will... But I have question.'
'Another? You have really weird questions today...'
'If you don't wanna be my boyfriend what about being friends with benefits?'
'I think I need to check you temperature...'
'I don't have fever!'
'Yeah, you are just horny...'
'... Maybe I am but it doesn't change fact I want your answer!'
'Why you wanna be my someone so desperately?'
'... I don't know... Maybe because I like you and you like me?'
'I think it's just because you are horny.'
'But do you deny that we could, you know... Make love?'
Hearing that term Minho felt butterflies in his stomach and warmth filling his heart.
'It's nice to hear you want to make love, not fuck.'
'Cuz... Well, I think when you have sex because you love someone and you want something with love, soft and romantic... Then you make love... Right?'
'So you want me to be that person? To make love?'
'I think I'd be able to let you be my first.'
'Your first?'
'Yeah... My ex was very bazen... But I didn't want to do anything with him... He tried really hard, he sometimes touched me without my permission... But I wasn't willing to do something with him... I loved him but... No, I just want to forget about him...'
'It's okay. I understand... Do you feel okay with me touching you?'
'Yes... Your touch is very soft. Like a fluffy cotton candy.'
Lee smiled softly, hugging Jisung a tiny bit tighter. He kept rubbing younger's belly, admiring him playing with Soonie's ears. He really enjoyed it. Cuddly atmosphere, Han's smell, sound of his heartbeat.
'Minho?'
'Yes, baby?'
'I'll throw up...'
God help me with that kid...
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YOU ARE READING
24 to 25 // minsung
أدب الهواة'everyday i'm gonna be closer. everyday i'll be excited as i would open another advent calendar chocolate.' TW!! Su¡cide, self-h4rm, smut??