24 to 25 // minsung

d a y 1 7

December 17th

...

So

My parents came to my place without even telling me before

Of course they blamed me again

And they're right

I could save Minri

But I didn't

I could be better brother

I couldn't even save my little sister

I'm the one who should die

I'll do it

I'll kill myself

I don't deserve to be alive

I'll do it in her death day anniversary

24 to 25

I will die then.

I promise.

I will clean world from trash like me.

Just one week more.

I can leave everything.

I can leave my university, my friends, Soonie, Jisung.

'But why? Really we can't meet even for one hour?'

'No.'

'Why you became so cold suddenly... Did I do something wrong?'

'Stop asking questions. I told you I need to leave and don't make it harder.'

'Minho, what the hell is going on?! Literally out if the sudden you telling me that we need to cancel our plans for today because you need to leave. No explanation, not even stupid apology! You became cold to me, you didn't even say 'hi' when I picked up! What the fuck! What did I do? Why you want to leave me? '

'It's not of your fucking business.'

'It is! We spend literally everyday together since we met first time! We stayed in each other's places, we cuddled, we kinda confessed our feelings, you kissed me! And now you want me to fuck off? Who I am to you?! You treat me like a toy! If you found someone else just tell me! You don't even know how much those small freaking signs from you meant to me. Those hugs, hands holdings, especially kisses. And now what?! You know what? Do whatever you want. Leave me, stay, I don't care. But please give me one favour. Don't hurt me like that. I am not toy. So don't treat me like that. If you don't wanna see me again, okay. If you want to come to my place, feel free. But don't hurt me with that coldness. Have a good day. I... I love you. '

When Jisung hang up, Minho threw his phone through room, screaming out of helplessness.

'FUCK!!'

He cried, sliding down the wall. He literally had no idea what to do. He was aware that jisung probably doesn't want to see him. But he didn't care. One voice in his head told him to stay alone, to suffer in silence, but second voice was screaming to run to Jisung. To be with him. To tell him everything, to go to him and let him make Minho feel safe. And Minho listened to second voice.

~~~

'Oh god, it's literally almost midnight...'

Jisung complained when doorbell woke him up. It was so late at night and someone really aggressively knocked to door and rang a bell.

'Geez... I'm coming...'

When he opened door his body froze and he felt weird warm, seeing Minho crying like a kid. When Lee noticed Han, more tears rolled down his face, but he didn't know what to do or say. He was just standing and staring at Jisung, who also was confused.

'J-ji...'

Hearing cracked voice of older Jisung immediately pulled him to hug, letting him cry into his arm. He knew that older boy behaviour before was because of some reason. Now he saw it was really serious reason.

'I should be the one who should die...'

'Huh? What are you talking about?'

'My parents... Today told me that I should be the one we should die... Not Minri... They're right. I wasn't good brother... And I couldn't be her donor...'

'Minho, no. It's not true, you know about it. Finding donor is very difficult thing.'

'But I was her brother. Closest family... And I fucked up. I need to die. I deserve it, not Minri...'

'Hey, look at me.'

Jisung asked, cupping Minho's face, feeling tears running down his face.

'You don't deserve to die. You weren't bad brother. It wasn't your fault. Don't think like that, please. Don't listen to them. Please, Minho, don't let them tell gou
That you are guilty because you are not. You can't die, there's a lot of things do to for you. Like graduate, finding love, maybe having kids, get married... Please... You need to try fight with those thoughs... You are not guilty, baby... '

Han cried quietly, softly wiping tears fron Minho's cheeks with sweater paws. For few seconds he was staring into his eyes, but then he stood up on his toes and shyly connected their lips. But this time kiss was totally different then previous kisses.

That kiss was full of emotions, love and sensitivity. Feeling like touching softest thing in the world. Minho shyly kissed Jisung back, softly grabbing his small waist and pulling him closer. This kiss was totally different and he liked it a lot. The way Jisung kissed him was something else. It gave Minho very warm vibe, like kissing someone who really care of him.

'I love you and I don't want toy to feel like that... Please talk to me when you feel bad. Please call to me when toy need me, when you need it. I'm here for you.'

'Thank you, Ji... I love you to and I promise I will do same for you. I will protect to even if I feel bad...'

I will protect you from other side.