A Reason For Being

Chapter Twenty-one

Sora

A few weeks later

"How are you feeling?" I ask Kei.

"I'm ok" Kei lies.

We didn't have a choice in the end. We had to take Kei to the hospital for his injuries before he died from the infection or blood loss. He was now recovering. The peacekeepers were informed, and Ted came to get a statement from Kei. He told Ted that he was kidnapped by a group of thugs and tortured. He didn't see their faces, as they wore masks. He escaped and found me where I took him to the hospital. It seemed to be a convincing enough story. Ted believed it, so that's all that mattered.

"How are you really feeling?" I ask him again.

"Like shit...I can't sleep. When I do sleep, I remember everything that happened. Everything still hurts. My wounds will heal during the next full moon but those bastards declawed me," Kei says.

This must be all so frustrating for him. I remember waking up the other night to go to the toilet. Kei was wide awake, sitting near the door, holding his bat. He was guarding the house. I've never seen him like this. He looks on edge and has a stubbly anchor beard. I realise that I haven't actually properly spoken to him about what happened. Kaz had been my priority. The world is so fucked up at the moment. I'm still stressed out and blaming myself for what happened to Haruki. I feel overwhelmed with guilt. I keep thinking about what I could have done.

"I'm sorry. I've been so focused on Kaz that I didn't get the chance to ask you how you are. You've been through just as much as anyone else. Do you maybe want to go and get a hot drink at Nakama's?" I say. I take a deep breath to relieve some of the pressure that's building up in my chest. The pressure is still there.

"Are... are you asking me out on a date?" He smiles, but it goes as fast as it appears. "I... I haven't been outside since I got back from the hospital," he says. I think he's afraid of going outside. He might even be suffering from PTSD. I know how that feels. He can't stay inside forever. He needs to face his fear.

I grab his hand and lead him outside. We stand there in silence for a few moments on the balcony. Kei is like a deer in the headlights. He doesn't quite know what to do. He doesn't move a muscle, and I can see his heart pounding in his chest. His eyes scan every detail of the woods. He holds his bat in his hand. It has nails hammered into it to make it look even more intimidating. I gently take it from him and place it on the floor. I walk off the balcony and onto the cinnamon-coloured ground. I reach my hand out towards him, and he takes it.

We arrive at Nakama's and find a table in the corner. I notice Cho isn't in, replaced with her cousin, Hibiki. We order some hot drinks and spend an hour nattering at each other. We talk about our interests, hobbies, movies, bands, and books. Turns out we have a lot of the same interests. I feel slightly anxious. I've had plenty of one-night stands, but I haven't been on a proper date for a while. It's weird. I feel the need to keep the conversation going to avoid any long, awkward silence. I tell myself to be confident.

I know Kei was joking when he asked me if this was a date, but now I'm wondering for myself. Is this a date? It's nice to get to know him better and see a different side to him. Whilst we talk, I forget about my anxiety. I admire the pictures that hang on the walls. I love the drawing style. There are five pictures: the world, mermaids, bamboo, different types of tea, and some sort of scales on a fish. In the background, I can hear the chilling sound of indie music that gives a calming atmosphere. It's so aesthetic.

We soon finish our drinks and head back to the fort. We hold hands as we walk. Kei comments on how cold my hands are and tries to warm them up. We sing the lyrics to one of our favourite bands as we walk. I can't help but laugh as we both sing.