It was halfway through the week in which Kuroo was away at the training camp and this gave you a lot of time to think. It also gave you a lot of time to sit with your emotions and fully understand how you felt. It was horrible.
As you lay in bed, your head began to ache with the number of thoughts you had swarming your mind. It was the morning so for one you had to get ready for school, but then again what was this sudden certainty that had risen in your chest? When your eyes had opened at the sound of your alarm blaring, you thought 'I want him to know.'
Overnight, you'd somehow become mature? No, that couldn't be it. Had Riku somehow influenced you while you were sleeping? The guy was a weirdo so it was possible. But no, it wasn't this or any other strange conspiracy theory you thought up. It was simply how you felt. Even with the fear of rejection, you wanted Kuroo to know your true feelings.
"What's happened to me?!" You groaned and squealed into your pillow. At your door, you heard a few of your siblings pounding against the wood, demanding you help them with their breakfast. "Shut up! I'll be there in a second," you yelled before groaning once more.
You would have given anything just to stay home for the day, but then you'd be all alone with your thoughts and there was nothing you feared more. The quicker you got to school, the better. And as always, Riku was there waiting for you at the gate and when you saw him, you'd never been more happy.
"Riku," you breathed out. "Tell me things I don't care about."
Riku laughed as you slumped against him.
"What are you so exhausted for? It's 8am. Here," he said, handing you a small bottle of your favourite chocolate milk that brought a brightened expression to your face.
"You're an angel," you told him as you unscrewed the cap.
"I can't tell if you're in a good mood or bad one." This was fair since neither could you. Was this new realisation a good thing or bad thing? Sure it scared you but maybe finally being vulnerable would be a good thing. Then again, that sounded awful. This was absolutely fucking with your head.
"Hey, Y/n? Where'd you go?" Riku waved his hand in front of your face and brought you back to reality.
"Oh, sorry!" You laughed nervously, touching your sore head delicately.
Riku stopped for a moment and turned to you.
"Seriously," he said, "are you okay?" The genuine concern on his face was enough for you to crack and tell him everything.
You told him everything that you were thinking. How much you liked Kuroo and how the lying was beginning to kill you. How badly you wished your mother would just appreciate you and what you did. How sore your damn head was from all of this. How you were so fucking annoyed that feelings had to exist. Everything, you spilled everything.
By the end of it, you were breathing heavily and Riku's mouth was left agape.
"O-ok," he said, "why don't we find a place to sit down." He rubbed your shoulder to confirm and you nodded. He took you in his arms and led you both toward a quiet spot where you could sit and discuss things privately.
"So what are you gonna do?" He asked once you'd taken the time to calm down.
"I have no fucking clue dude."
Riku sighed and looked straight ahead. "I can't tell you how to do everything you know. You're gonna have to decide this one for yourself."
At this, you began groaning and slipping down from the wall your back was leaning against.
Riku laughed at your childish behaviour.
"Come on!" He said and patted you on your leg. Like a cat would, you slapped his hand away from you and gave him a sour look. Riku breathed out with a small smile. "Y/n."
"...yeah?" You said, head turned away and arms crossed. What you were hearing wasn't exactly what you had hoped to hear.
Usually with these things, Riku gave you advice and you'd end up doing exactly what he said to do. This time however, he seemed to be standing his ground and not offering up an easy solution. It dawned on you then that maybe there wasn't one.
"You like him," he said. And he didn't word it in the way of a question but instead as a fact. It was of course, a fact, but hearing him be so sure about it made you frightened. If it was obvious to Riku and if it was obvious to Kenma, did that mean Kuroo already knew?
"I do," you said.
Riku looked at you and you looked at him.
"And what are you gonna do about it?" He asked. You blinked at him. Never in your life had you ever been sure of something, but for some reason you knew exactly what you wanted to do about this whole situation. The whole week you'd been stressing over the same question, 'but what if he rejects me?' Though right now, that question didn't seem to matter.
"I'm gonna tell him."
To be continued...
