THE FATE

CHAPTER 28

Kor

I watched the sun peek through the windows of my quarters, I've been watching it every single day. Not a day has passed that I haven't been witness the sun shining. I'm hoping with enough sunshine, it will drown out the sadness that I can't seem to shake. Its been 9 months and nothing has changed. 

I haven't seen or heard from her in nine months. I often questioned if she was even alive anymore. Whether she choose to leave this life herself, or by another one's hand. The thought of it constantly kept me awake at night. I no longer feel her presence through the force. I've tried so hard to find her through the force, that sometimes I put myself into a coma. 

Yet, those endless days of deep slumber still didn't give me peace. Still didn't make me feel rested. I always told myself I wouldn't ever stop trying to find her. I am breaking myself apart trying to. 

I place my hands over my face and take a deep breath. I've been on this damn planet for almost a year and there is no sign of me returning to Starkiller. I've been given special recognitions from even Snoke himself about the work I've done here. We have almost successfully rid this planet of the Sun Gang and it appears we've won over the hearts of its inhabitants. 

Some days I feel like I'm drowning in sorrow, other days I feel like giving up on trying. Without her, I feel no purpose for breathing, and living anymore. I will find her in the next lifetime, I will look for her everywhere. I will look and see her in the snow capped mountains, I will hear her voice in the wind, and I will feel her gentle touch in the water. 

I want to drown in her water of touch. My eyes flood with her water of love, as I fall to the bottom with her wrapped around me. I finally feel at peace. 

I ready myself for the day of meetings and whatever else decides to bother me. 

__________________________________________

I turn to open the doors to our command room, that is full of life. I get pleasant greetings from my staff and head nods from those fellow troopers of mine. I've made a life for myself here. I was given an opportunity to lead, and I am proud of what we all have built here. There was always this thought in the back of my mind of how I wish I could share this with her. 

"Commander, Kor," Cerra calls out from behind me. 

I turn and see she is holding a stack of papers, waiting for my eyes to gloss over them. 

"Put them in my office, thank you."

"No, sir, you need to read these," Cerra said with raised eyebrows, "like now."

She pulls one off the top and it reads 'Resistance ambushes First Order on rouge planet, killing thousands,' I frown. 

"What the fuck, why haven't they called for aid?" as I flip through more of the local newspaper. 

"It's Hagen's division," Cerra smirked. As we all knew how that arrogant asshole operated. Lex always liked him, but us in the lower ranks hated him. Because we knew what sort of leader he was, he was selfish and wanted so badly to climb ranks. 

"This was from a few weeks ago," I look around the page, "and they are calling more reinforcements in." I mumbled some more words to myself as I read the paper more clearly. "Naboo troopers to be activated to assist in the First Order." 

Then it made sense in my head, was she there for that? Was she there gathering more reinforcements? When the force connected us together, she wasn't alone. What if she was with Kylo, meeting with the Naboo counsel. 

"Looks like Hagen is finally getting some karma," Cody called out from the side. 

But I couldn't feel her anymore. I couldn't sense her presence like I use to. I could pickup on her when she was mad and sad. Like when I heard her screaming. That scream. I needed to figure out why the force has connected us, like we had a bond.