THE FATE

CHAPTER 29

Since that day that Tannor and I snuck away in the forest, we have pretended like nothing has happened between us. Which I much preferred. It has been nothing but work between us. It has been five days since then. 

I was sore for a few days after that forest expedition. I hadn't bedded another man since Kor, and I felt numb about it. I imagined it was Kor the entire time, but yet it still didn't cover up the embarrassment I felt afterwards. How I just slept with my team leader. 

We rose this morning, the same as always. 

Hagen still remained the camp, I was unsure about his departure but he seemed to respect that I wanted to keep a low profile here. How I reminded myself everyday who I was and where I was from. So I wouldn't forget, or no one would question me. 

I was fearful Hagen would do something to possibly put me at risk, so then I would be forced to leave this awful place to go back to another awful place. I avoided him. I avoided his tent, I avoided his glare, I avoided everything. 

"Can you just tell me why you're making us walk the longer route?" Tannor grabbed me by the elbow to stop me. 

"No," I shrugged off his grip and walked forward. 

"Nope," he lunged forward again and snared me once more. "You're avoiding the entire camp, you're not eating, and you're not even collecting your weapon. Why?"

"Let me go," I demanded. Like he would actually listen to me. 

"Tell me why first," Tannor quickly sniped back. He wasn't wearing his helmet anymore, so I could see his true emotion on his face. How he looked concerned but was also annoyed at the same time. How was that even possible. 

"It's none of your concern."

"It sure is my concern because if our patrol goes to shit, I'll be covering your ass," he still held a softer and gentle hold on my elbow. 

I turned and held his gaze. "Please, just stop," I pleaded. On the verge of tears. I felt the pain come through in my voice. How it would out me quicker than I could hide it. And I wasn't prepared for that. 

"Did something happen?"

I blinked back and forth at his eyes that displayed the most purest form of compassion. I want to tell him the truth. This face I've been putting on has been debilitating. I was tired of the loss of sleep, the battles here, and the walking. I had grown weak. Both mentally and physically. 

"No." 

He slid his hand to my back, and I flinched at his touch. I glared over my shoulder to him as I made my way around the entire camp, hiding from Hagen's view. I tugged the hood of my robe over my face, hoping to hide my tear from any prying eyes. 

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We arrived at the first checkpoint of our patrol. Tannor ended up getting two weapons and handed me the spare one. We still walked in silence the entire time. No jokes, no stopping, and no admiring the wildlife. 

It was a cloudy day, unusual for this planet to not have sun shining. I examined the plants throughout our walk and could notice their leaves dipping closer to the ground to prepare for rain. The wind had picked up as we made our way into the forest. It brought in different smells from throughout the planet, how I could whiff the aroma of certain flowers I've never heard of and different fragrances of trees and their pines. 

The noise and sounds of the wildlife were nonexistent today, as if they were preparing for the downpour to begin. The only predators prowling were us. 

I wondered if the animals joked about how stupid we must be. To walk in a potential storm. I laughed to myself silently while I followed behind Tannor.