always forever | beynika

13.

A/N: Thank Khloe for the update.

Six months. Six whole months without Onika. And I didn't know what she was doing, how she was doing, who she was with, nor where she was.

To say life was shit was an understatement. I didn't think that us being together would be such a horrible thing to Carol. The fact that she pulled her child away from everyone she's ever known all because she loves someone.

I slugged my way through my home. I honestly hated being here. Being in the dining room only brought back the horrific memory. I rarely came out of my bedroom. My mom would be lucky to even see me at all these days.

I was so out of touch with the world too. I never talked to my friends at school much, I barely went to school.

My mom had reverted me to online, so I could be home. She understood how hard things had been for me, and she never judged me. She never made me feel bad, and always did her best to uplift me. I loved my mother for that. She was a saint.

Me being online was a blessing I could say. I never did anything so all my time was spent on completing work. Because of that, I got promoted to the eleventh grade. Fifteen and being a junior could be a flex, but I wish things turned out differently. I wanted to experience all of this with Oni.

I got myself a small snack and water then went back to my room. I picked up my journal and began to do my daily letters to Onika. It was something I had picked up to help regulate my feelings. My mom suggested it.

Everyday, I'd write to Onika and tell her everything. Not only did it make me feel like I still had a piece of her, it allowed me to feel vulnerable.

Today's letter lasted about three pages. I wrote about class, what I did today, but mainly my feelings.

I sniffled as I finished off my writing, letting those tears fall onto the paper. I missed everything about my best friend, my lover.

My mom came back home and did her usual: come to my room and try to give me updates.

"I did some more digging today. Ive got some good news, but also bad." She started. I nodded.

"Good news, Onika is alive. She's doing okay. Bad news, her mom sent her off to some school hours away from here. Its one of those weird schools that the students stay there all the time, and are only allowed to leave on this weekends. With a little bribing, I found out that she's on the list to come home this weekend. Maybe. Just maybe. You can see her again."

What my mom was saying hadn't really registered. Once it did, I jumped out of bed, and into her arms. "Mommy! Thank you!" I kissed her all over her face.

"Her mom will be picking her up, but we could possibly sneak over there? Listen, I ain't no criminal but I'll break a few laws for my baby." My mom kissed my cheek.

Just like she promised, we went sneaking to the Maraj's home on Saturday. She had us dress in all black and we left home while it was kinda dark, for more camouflage.

"Mommy. Look." I whispered, pointing to the window. Onika was there in her room. I could see her shadow. "I know, baby." She replied. I was excited.

I picked up a pine cone, throwing it at the window. I waited a few moments before throwing another. I could see Oni's shadow moving more towards the window. I was getting even more excited. I threw a third one. This time, Onika pulled the window open. I gasped when I saw how she looked. She had matured a lot, and she looked so beautiful.

Onika gasped loudly then smiled. She held up a finger before closing the window. She was gone for about three minutes before returning back. She crawled out of the window then landed in the bush. She rushed over to me and tackled me to the ground in a hug.

I laughed and held her close to me. My laughter turned into sobs. It felt surreal to have her back in my arms. I could feel her tears against my neck.

"Hi, Bey." She whispered, nuzzling her head further into me.

"Hi, Oni." I held the back of her head. We sat on the ground for awhile before getting up. Onika hugged my mom too.

"Oh, sweet princess, I'm so happy to see you again." My mom told her, picking out the grass in her hair. I dusted myself off as I watched them. Onika turned back around and hugged me again.

"I've missed you so much, Beyonce. You have no idea," she looked up at me. "Dang, when you got so tall?" She asked and I chuckled. "I grew a couple of inches." I smiled.

So we couldn't get caught, the three of us walked down the street. I had never let go of Onika's hand. We talked about everything.

"I bet you talk to other girls, huh? Just cause my mom took me away don't mean you belong to anybody else." Onika looked up at me. I laughed.

"Girl, ain't nobody doing that. You know who I belong to." I kissed her cheek.

"Nika, baby, weren't you a- uh- stud in training when you were here?" My mom asked her and I stopped walking to laugh. Onika slapped my arm hard.

"Yes, mama, but I was just figuring myself out. I'm not really masculine like that. I thought so cause my friends were boys and they wore nice clothes. Wanted to be like them. But I'm just.. me." Oni explained.

My mom nodded.

"So why hadn't you come home? Considering you guys are allowed to?" I asked Onika. She sighed softly.

"I did it out of spite. I was, still am, so angry with my mom. So I never wanted to come home. Of course I felt bad because I was also missing out on you. But I just didn't want to be here." She told me. "I'm sorry, Bey. I would've come. I know so much has happened and I missed out and you probably hate me for it-,"

"No, Oni, that's not true. I don't hate you. I didn't even know you were able to come home on weekends until my mom told me yesterday. I just thought she had sent you to another country. It's okay you missed out, how you feel is valid. I'm sad that you didn't come home, but you're here now." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"Thank you for understanding." She kissed my knuckles.

"Of course."

We ended up back at Onika's place and I sighed. I didn't want this to end.

"I'm gonna try to come back  and see you tomorrow. When do you leave?" I held her hands.

"Four. So try to get here early. My mom's going to church and she's trying to make me go. So imma pretend to sleep in so she can leave me. You know she won't ever miss a service." It was true. Carol would leave Onika in a burning house if it meant she wouldn't miss a day of church.

"Okay, sounds like a plan. I love you, NiNi." I looked over at my mom. I wanted to kiss Onika but I didn't need my mom watching.

"Gon kiss the girl. I don't wanna see it anyway." She turned around.

I giggled. I leaned forward and shared the sweetest kiss with her. I didn't want to let go just yet so we basked in the moment. After the hug, Onika hugged my mom then blew me a final kiss. She went back to her window and crawled back inside.

She waved goodbye then closed her window back. I looked at my mom again. "I'm so happy, mama!" I squealed. My mother took my hand and we walked back home. I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

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