Snape & Malfoy

Chapter 13

Esmeralda

The rain outside my window must have been going on for more than an hour. Maybe two? What time was it, and for how long had I been in my dorm? I looked at the time. 03:am, and I was clearly awake without even a tiny will of wanting to sleep. Now I needed to pee. Fuck. Don't think of it Esme, ignore it. Ignore- SHIT. I had to go. I got out of my bed, and eyed myself in the window reflection. My eyes were puffy and glossy, my lips dry and my hair messy. Three or four hours ago I'd been at the party, my throat sobbed at the thought of it. The bathroom Esme, the bathroom.
I walked down the common room, expecting it to be empty, with a full bladder. But it wasn't empty. Two creatures were sitting in front of the fireplace, both I was very familiar with, and one I hated with my whole heart. And loved.
-You such an a-
Mattheo's incredibly handsome face turned to me as my cough broke their conversation. And my heart sank when Malfoy turned after him. I ignored it, and my whole body tensed. I'd never wanted to cry so badly. But I didn't need to pee anymore.
-Should I go?
Mattheo looked between us.
-No, I'm just using the bathroom. Stay.
The last word was more of me begging him to than an encouragement. I could feel the tears in my eyes as I left the bathroom. I really needed to sleep, but it was impossible. I wasn't sure if I was mad at Mattheo to. He knew, and he hadn't told me, but he wasn't a part of it, he'd told me as I'd left the party with him.
-Goodnight Esm.
He smiled. He was so handsome he almost made me forget the asshole next to him. Mattheo was like an older brother, but one you could still find attractive. If that made any sense at all. I only looked at Draco for a a second. He didn't look at me, and honestly, he looked like shit. Had he been smoking? Leave Esme, this is none of your business. He literally broke your heart four hours ago!
I made my way up the stairs quickly, with Draco and Mattheo following me. I guess they where sleeping as well. I was about to enter my door when:
-Esme?
It was Mattheo. A part of me wanted it to be Draco, so badly. My eyes filled up with tears again.
-Yeah?
He didn't answer, he just hugged me. And I needed that. I cried, silently.
-Goodnight.
I nodded. Mattheo didn't show it often, but he had a heart of gold. He always looked bored or ignorant, but when he wanted to, he cared. A lot.
I felt better turning to the door again, but then:
-Esme?
If I wasn't in such a bad mood I would've made a joke about the situation. But Mattheo's eyes didn't face mine when I turned around. Dracos did. I tried to slam the door but he stopped me.
-Get away from me.
He didn't move. Mattheo was no where to be found.
-Leave! I don't want you here!
I pushed him, he didn't move a millimeter. I tried, but he didn't even flinch.
-Leave me alone! I hate you! I hate you.
My own words made me cry, they made me cry so hard, why was he here? His gaze was emotional, very emotional. My tears streamed down all over his shirt. He came closer, I knew how badly he wanted to hold me. Because I wanted him to hold me to, and I hated myself for feeling that way.
-Please.
-Don't touch me.
-Esme I-
-Don't. Say. It.
I entered my dorm, but he did to. He leaned against the door frame, watching me with a glow in his eyes. I hated him.
-Leave me alone. I'm not asking again.
-Esme please, i beg you.
-When are you gonna understand? Your words mean nothing to me anymore.
He walked up to me, and I backed. This was a deja vu from what happened the night before we got locked up in the library. But right now I hated Draco, so much.
-I love you Esme, and I'm so so sorry. And I know you won't forgive me just like that, and I will do anything I can to prove it. I beg you. Let me prove it to you, let me touch you. Do you want me on my knees?
His words made my heartbeat go so fast i was afraid i would have a heart attack. Breathe. Breathe Love.
-I was a bet. I was a fucking bet Draco.
I looked him in the eyes.
-I'm so sorry Esme, and I can't imagine a life without you.
His words made me dizzy, and I didn't know what to do.
-Go. Please. Just go.
He looked at me. He was hurt. He didn't deserve to be hurt. Normally I would've forgiven him. But those were just words. Do you want me on my knees?
He left, and i fell down against the floor. I'd never cried so hard before. My whole body was shaking, and my mind was killing me. I wanted Draco back, I wanted him to hold me close, and I hated myself for being so pathetic. And at the same time I wanted to kill him, and never see him again.

Draco

I was gonna prove it. I was gonna prove to her how much I loved her, how much I regretted what I'd done, and I wasn't giving up. She was mine, and I loved her so so so much.