Snape & Malfoy

Chapter 14

Draco

My hands where full of pink flowers. According to the lady in the store, they were called Eupatorium. E for Esmeralda. It was a start. My plan was to give her flowers every day, one for each letter of her name. If someone told me I'd do this shit a couple months ago, I'd laugh them in their face, but then i hadn't fucked up.
Go. Please. Just go.
Fuck me. I was an asshole, and I didn't deserve her. But I was selfish enough to beg for her anyway. I meant it when I said that I'd get on my knees. I'd give that girl the whole world. It started with these flowers, and a necklace that I'd found in my house. According to my mother it was worth millions, and she wanted me to have it. And I wanted Esme to have it, maybe I was being paranoid. I was about to find out. Good thing I wasn't going to give up,
I opened her dorm room, it was empty. I dropped the flowers off gently, wondering where she might be.
-Malfoy?
Pansy Parkinson ran up to me.
-What do you want?
She was hella annoying, and I didn't have time for another party planning. But she didn't look like that was on her mind.
-Have you seen Esme? She's gone. Her dorm is empty and she missed breakfast.
I thought of last night. It hadn't been good, at all. I could feel the speed of my heartbeat rising.
-Where do yo- HEY!
I left her, leaving. I had to find her. I had a bad feeling about this.

Esmeralda

I looked out. It was gorgeous up here, in the owl tower. Exactly what I needed. But I was still in pain. My body ached as I thought of Draco. I couldn't hate him. But I wanted to, so badly. I closed my eyes, inhaled nature. It was incredible how something so beautiful was created, and how sensitive it was. How everything was so perfectly balanced, and how easy it was to ruin everything. Right now I related to nature. It was a fucked up world, but no matter what happened, the earth never stopped spinning and nature was still doing its thing. I looked at my hands. Was he worth it? Was he worth to cry over? I wanted to say no, to think no, but I couldn't. I'd loved him. I still did. But I was just a game to him, just an opportunity to win money. I hated Mattheo too, he hadn't told me.
Who were my real friends? Right now I could only think of Pansy. Sweet Pansy. I'd ignored her, she'd been nothing but helpful, but right now I needed time alone. It's weird how people never understand that.
-Esme!
Pansy showed up out of nowhere, but right now I was just happy. She had a hard time catching her breath and threw herself over me. I couldn't help but smile. She cared, and she was the most honest person I knew.
-I was scared I'd lost you!
Her hug choked me.
-Why?
I coughed out my words. She looked sad.
- I don't even know anymore, I was just worried about you. Draco is too.
My stomach twisted.
- Really?
-Yeah he is also looking for you.
She yawned. I couldn't sleep up here. I eyed Pansy who snored against my shoulder. She was a real friend, and an amazing one. More than I deserved.

When we got back to the common room, everything was normal.
- See? I told you she wasn't dead Parkinson!
Mattheo smirked. Fine, I'd forgive him, but he owed me. I was not gonna forgive Blaise though, who tried to hug me. I didn't say anything, I just gave him a meaningful stare. Why was everyone so weird? I'd been gone half an hour, maximum.

When I entered my dorm, everything looked normal. Until I found a pile of flowers on my bed, with a tiny note on them: Eupatorium. Draco's love language to me where flowers, where they from him? They were gorgeous. I inhaled the scent, lovely. Where they to apologize? They made happy, but that wasn't gonna do it, and for a second they didn't feel as gorgeous anymore. I could almost feel the tears in my eyes just icing up to my eyeballs. I almost wanted to throw the flowers out the window, knock on his dorm room and scream at him until he was deaf. But I wasn't that pathetic. And this wasn't going to do it.

When I got back from class next evening, I found a new type, Sage. They were bright purple, my dad bought me them once on my birthday for me, I loved them. But still, I couldn't forgive Draco. Honestly I was even more upset. And even if I wanted to forgive him I couldn't, because he was no where to be found. The flowers kept coming til my room was a garden. Marigold, Echium, Roses, Amaryllis, Lobelia, Dahlia, and finally, Alyssum. When I put them all in a row, I realized they spelled out my name. It made me cry, and I couldn't stop, and I didn't know why. He'd done this. Someone had done this to me. Draco had. And was I an ass for still being upset?
A couple days went, and Draco was still no where to be found. I didn't even know why I wanted to see him. To say thank you? I had no idea.
A late evening, I was reading but couldn't get into my book the way I usually did. Something was different. I knew it even before someone knocked the door.

-What are you doing here?
That was harsh of me, but it slipped out. Draco leaned against the doorframe in front of me, with a tiny box in his hand. He looked horrible. His hair was a mess, had he been smoking again? He didn't smell like it, he smelled so good I got a breeze of recognition over me, and it made me realize even more how much I missed him. And it made me hate him even more.
-I need to talk to you. Now.
-I'm booked til the day you die, sorry.
Of course I was gonna be rude, I didn't know what else. He looked entertained though. Bastard.
-I'm afraid I'm unable to die until you speak to me. He smiled, he smiled and it killed me.
-You don't have the right to smile at me like that. You don't have the right to be happy, or feel good. You took that away from me.
His gaze darkened. I almost thought he was going to cry.
-I'm not happy Esmeralda. My life is miserable without you in it, and I'm aware of that my words don't mean shit to you, but please. Just come with me.
-I'm busy.
-Come with me. Please?
He was begging, and I wasn't strong enough to resist it.
I wasn't sure, or yes, I was. I wanted nothing but to go with him.
-Okay.
I followed him, we walked out of the common room, and all the way out of the castle in an awkward silence. I eyed him, why was I out here? In the cold, with him? Because you love him.
It was freezing, I regretted to not bring my jacket.
He noticed. Of course he did. It only took him a second to wrap his jacket around me. I tried to take it off.
-Esmeralda please, you'll catch a cold.
-I'm okay with that.
-Well I'm not, so please put it back on.
I let him have his way. And it felt good, it felt good to wear his jacket. It shouldn't have but it did. I hated myself even more for it and considered to run away. We walked up to the astronomy tower. The star sky looked down on us. I looked up, Draco didn't. He looked at me. I usually didn't notice, but I did now. We sat down on the floor. I liked it, I really did.
-Do you know that star?
My dad had taught me, I knew a lot about them and couldn't help but babbling all about them. I forgot to be upset. I also forgot to ask why we where here, or what was in that box, til now.
-What's in there? You're not proposing are you?
-No.
He opened it and revealed a gorgeous necklace. It was in silver with a green amethyst in the middle. The colors of Slytherin.
-My grandfather gave this to my grandmother and my dad to my mom. They both said they wanted the love of their life's to have them. So I thought you might like it? If you don't that's fine.
I took the words in, and honestly I handled the overwhelming feelings pretty well.
It made me cry. I'd been crying a lot lately but these were happy tears.
-Draco I love it.
He wiped my tears away. Smiled a little, but with his eyes.
-Esmeralda I'm so sorry. Not just about the bet, about every time I've ever let you down. I don't deserve you, and I'm not a good person. But I can't imagine a life without you, and I need you. You're all I need. I love you.
I looked at him. So many years I'd known him, but I'd started to really get to know him this year. So many times he'd comforted me, he'd let me down, and now he was next to me, begging me to forgive him. I didn't want to feel the way I did, I was to nice. I was always to nice, but I could only push away my feelings for a small amount more f time. As much as I was petty enough to, I couldn't spend my whole life pushing my feelings away. Maybe I deserved better, but I didn't want better. I loved that man. I loved him.
-I love you Draco.