MerDer; The Book

Chapter 4

Sleep didn't come easy for Meredith even though she was exhausted, she had spent most of the night tossing and turning. The events of the past week were keeping her up. She had told, or rather, Derek had found out about her dirty little secret. He had been so comforting and uplifting. He wanted her to blossom, to bloom. And she wanted that for herself, she wanted to gain confidence, to grow and explore. To have fun and become extraordinary.

It hadn't always been easy, having award winning surgeon Ellis Grey as mother had led to expectations. From others, but mostly from Ellis herself. Her mother could be harsh and cruel, she had learnt from a young age that she wasn't wanted by her or her father. After he had left her in the care of her mother at the age of five, she had all but raised herself. There were some occasional nanny's but she had been on her own most of the time. Ellis Grey either worked or slept, there was no time for mother daughter bonding. Ellis had let her known on more occasions than one that she was a burden, for both her professional as personal life.

It took her most of the night before she came to the conclusion, but it was time to change, she wasn't that sweet young girl anymore. She was a twenty-nine-year-old women, only a couple of months left before the big thirty. Maybe her mom and dad didn't want her, maybe she wasn't as good or as gifted in surgery as her mom. And maybe she wasn't the happy go lucky type of girl with a fairytale prince. But she could write her own story, and she was starting now. No more what-ifs, she was going to grab the bull by the horns and take the damned thing for a ride.

She was starting today; in the early afternoon she had brunch with Cristina and Izzie so that left her with plenty of time to start her new chapter. First, she was going to get her hair done. No more long hair without model, she wanted something new and refreshing. Taking 10 inches off, curtain bangs and blond highlights were going to do the trick.

Afterwards she went shopping, buying 3 new jeans which hugged her curves perfectly. She also bought a bunch of new tops in different colours which gave away just enough cleavage, nothing to trashy but definitely more showing then her usuals.  She got herself a new set of lingerie, a deep blue lace bra with matching high cut panties, complete with stockings. Lastly, she passed a shoe store on her way to the lunchroom, she saw some nice black leather ankle boots with a reasonable heel.

Struggling with the bags, she walked in to the lunchroom, Cristina and Izzie already sitting in a booth in the back. Deeply in conversation they didn't notice Meredith enter until she threw the bags on the end of the velvet couch and plopped down.

'Yeesz, I am exhausted, my feet are killing me. Did you already order drinks? Because I could really use a strong one' she laughed picking up the menu. When they didn't respond she looked up to them, both mouths agape staring at her. Izzie with confusion and Cristina with a look of mischief in her eyes.

'What?! Is something wrong? Is there some food between my teeth or something?' Meredith asked getting a small mirror out of her purse.

'No, nothing is wrong' Izzie replied quickly. 'You just look different.'

Cristina nodded in agreement. 'A good different!'

'You look like a women Mer, with the hair. I mean it wasn't like you weren't a woman before.. Just more girl like.' Izzie added.

'Yeah, well.. Cocktails! And food..' Meredith exclaimed trying to get the attention elsewhere.

---

Meredith was happy the brunch was bottomless, slightly feeling more loose-lipped due to the alcohol, the initial awkwardness had slipped away. She knew it would draw some attention getting her hair done but she hadn't expected them to stare at her. It wasn't like she was a different person, although she felt different. She felt like she made progress today. And yesterday for that matter, she had to suppress a giggle, alcohol always made her giggly.

'What has gotten you so giggly' Izzie asked amused starting at Meredith.

'Nothing' Meredith tried to sound as casual as possible.

'And there comes the -nothing- again' Cristina laughed.

'Did I miss something?' Izzie questioned. 'What's up with the nothing?'

'Friday at Joe's, Meredith was all dreamy over McDreamy. But it was -nothing- according to Mer, and I wanted to believe her.. That was until she came back from the toilet 3 minutes after McDreamy, who was wearing a disgustingly big smile by the way, looking al hot and flustered. Care to explain what -nothing- was going on there Mer?' Cristina looked challenging at Meredith.

'Fine.´ Meredith never backed down from a challenge, most definitely not when Cristina was the one challenging. She was going to give in, she had to. She couldn't deny if it was that oblivious, they weren't ignorant. But she wasn't going to spill all, she had the right to keep things to herself. 'We kissed.'

'You kissed!' Izzie almost screamed excitedly.

Cristina looked at her intently, sizing her up and down, her eyes narrowing a bit. 'That's not all, you liar.'

Fuck, Meredith felt her cheeks burn. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, when she opened them again, Cristina was staring straight at her and gave her a knowing smirk. 'And he came over for dinner last night. But that's all.. There is nothing more to tell you.' 

'Liar.'

Meredith sighed. She wasn't going to win this battle from her. 'And, he has very talented fingers.' she smiled smugly.

'Doesn't surprise me' Christina had to withhold her laugh.

'As neurosurgeon, you have to be very delicate with your finger movements.' Izzie added.

'I bet Fin was very good at petting, that big ol' veterinarian.' Cristina replied.

'Petting you like a dog on the head.' the girls burst out laughing.

'Cheers to surgeons with their delicate fingers.' Meredith raised her glass.