MerDer; The Book

Chapter 22

'I am glad you were able to make it, Meredith.' Caroline said while stirring in a pan on the stove.

Once Derek and Meredith were settled into the house, the four of them had eaten a small lunch, prepared by Caroline. Meredith could definitely learn some cooking skills from Caroline, even the simple lunch was delicious. After lunch Michael had asked Derek to come fishing with him, some father-son bonding time as he called it. After checking it with Meredith thoroughly, he wanted to be sure she was okay with him being gone for a couple of hours, he went with his dad to the fishing pond in the backyard of the Shepherd house.

Fishing was something Derek and Michael both found joy in, it was their way to relax and talk about life in general. There was no doubt in Derek's mind that if he ever was lucky enough to become a father, he would pass this tradition on to his next generation. Hopefully his father was still there to participate in the ordeal, his father wasn't getting any younger, with the beautiful age of seventy he was still full of life and Derek could only hope it stayed like that for a long time.

Meanwhile Meredith was in the kitchen together with Caroline. Meredith wasn't a kitchen princess, she didn't mind that one bit, but was glad she was able to help a out. Caroline had given her some simple tasks, like chopping and cutting greens, while she explained to Meredith the other things she was doing. It was actually quite fun; she hadn't expected being in the kitchen and cooking could be this relaxing and educating.

'Me too. I am glad to be welcome during the holidays, must be strange for you to take in a stray.' Meredith answered softly.

The answer made Caroline turn around. 'You are in no way a stray to us; you are a friend of our son. His best friend to be more precisely. Any friend of our kids, is a friend to us. I am happy that you are in his life, you keep him on his toes.'

'I am happy to be his friend, he gets me. With al my mommy and daddy issues. He knows what to say and do to make it bearable.' Meredith admitted with a small chuckle.

'Were you planning on visiting your mother this Christmas? Normally nursing homes have some kind of family gathering during these days if I remember correctly.' Caroline asked her.

Meredith was happy that for once, somebody just asked. 'I don't know, maybe. It is getting harder to be around her, so I try to avoid going and then I get disappointed with myself when I haven't visited her in a while. When I was younger, she was kind of the same as she is now, only then I could hold her responsible, she was lucid, she knew what feelings she was implying. I could get angry at her; I could scold at her and let her know how I thought about her and her choices, and we could actually fight about it. But now, she is hurting me and I can't even get mad anymore. I just have to swallow it all.'

'And that's a lot to do on your own. Too much actually.' Caroline spoke softly. 'It's a terrible disease, not only for the person who is suffering. But also, for all people who are inflicted by it along the way.'

It must have been the Christmas spirit and relaxed atmosphere; Meredith didn't open up to others about her mother, but it felt good to talk to Caroline about her. She wasn't judging or coming up with advices. She was just listening and being there for her without making the subject to heavy.

'So, I was actually kind of glad Derek asked me to celebrate Christmas with you all. It made the decision a lot easier. The last two years I spent Christmas with Finn, but now that he is out of the picture.. It feels good to be free and actually choose something for myself, do the things I like. Maybe I find myself a bit selfish for not visiting my mother, but then I think again.. If she wouldn't have Alzheimer's, she would have been inside of an OR. She wouldn't have spent Christmas with me, she never did actually.'

'I am sorry that your mother never took time to spent Christmas with you.' Caroline gave her a reassuring glance.

'I think.. I think I am sorry for her too.' Meredith let out softly.

'Maybe it's not up to me to tell you this Meredith, I am not your mother and I don't want to insinuate to be her. But I am a mother, and as a mother I find it my duty to tell you this.' Caroline said, making eye contact with Meredith, making sure she could continue. 'You are a strong, compassionate and loving woman, with everything that has happened to you, you find the courage to live. You should be proud of yourself; you are everything a mother could wish for in her daughter.'

Meredith didn't know how to react; she had never had a mother figure giving her such encouraging words. It felt strangely good to be praised in this way, and before she knew what was happening there were tears rolling down her cheeks. She wasn't sad, it just felt good to receive the confirmation that she was doing good. That she was making the right decisions, that she was on the right path of her life.

'Thank you.'

'Come here.' Caroline took her in to her arms, taking her in a loving motherly embrace. Comforting away all troubles, the way only a mother could, Carolines hand softly stroking over Meredith's hair. Meredith threw her arms around Caroline, closing her eyes in this unfamiliar soothing feeling.

She didn't know how long they were standing like that, it could have been minutes, maybe an hour, it was Derek's entrance in to the kitchen which made the two women break their embrace.

'Oh, you wouldn't believe how many Strout we captured. How are my two favourite girls doing?' Derek's beaming voice broke the silence in the room. His eyes focussed on the basket in his hands, before he took in the scene in front of him. 'Is everything alright Meredith?' the worry was clear in his voice; he was next to her in a heartbeat.

'Really good actually.' Meredith replied with small chuckle.

'Are you sure? You don't seem fine.. I can take you home if you want to.' Derek didn't know what was going on but he wanted to be sure she was all right.

'Really Derek, I am perfectly fine.' Meredith reassured him.

'You two should go for a walk around the pond. Spent some time together before the others arrive tomorrow.' Caroline interrupted the small stare down between Derek and Meredith.

'Are you sure? I could still help you with the preparations!' she reassured Caroline.

'Let's go.' Derek said, taking Meredith by her hand. He had many questions to ask and he wanted to spend time with her alone, making sure she was fine. Not just Meredith fine..

Once Meredith and Derek left the kitchen, Michael walked in, standing behind Caroline. He wrapped his hands around her waist and gave her cheek a small kiss.

'Our son has found the one.' he breathed softly in to Caroline's ear. 'He couldn't stop talking about her while we were fishing, wanted to go back in as soon as possible.. He's got it bad.'

'I still remember the days; you got it just as bad Mike.' Caroline laughed softly. 'You couldn't get enough of me..'

That made Michael snicker. 'I still can't get enough of you... I will never get enough of you.'

Caroline turned the fire on the stove to the smallest flame possible before turning around in Michael's arms, giving him a soft kiss. 'Just don't push them too much Mike, she has a long way to come. She is getting there, but we shouldn't interfere. Let them do it at their own pace.'

'I know a perfect way for you to distract me from interfering..' Michael pulled Caroline with him to the stairs, only laughter could be heard from the two of them.